


Maelstrom

by brunetteandblond



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Alice is a good kid, Alternate Universe, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Archivist Waverly, Bartender Wynonna, Childhood Trauma, Cop with morals Nicole, F/F, F/M, No Revenants (Wynonna Earp), WynHaught brotp, Wynonna Returns to Purgatory, Wynonna and Nicole are best friends but people think they are a couple, Wynonna is pan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-02-17 22:01:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 34,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21700432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brunetteandblond/pseuds/brunetteandblond
Summary: Wynonna never thought she'd return home. Not after running away on the night of her graduation. Not after leaving her friends and family without any goodbyes.But things change. People change.Waverly definitely didn't expect her sister's return. Especially not with a daughter and a mysterious woman who catches her eye, though she can't tell if the redhead is in love with Wynonna.But her sister's home. And that's all that matters.
Relationships: Waverly Earp & Wynonna Earp, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught, Wynonna Earp & Doc Holliday, Wynonna Earp & Nicole Haught, Xavier Dolls & Wynonna Earp
Comments: 162
Kudos: 584





	1. the bus ride

**Author's Note:**

> This one's going to be a roller coaster of emotions. It's gonna be great.

The bus was rolling on. Slowly. Drifting into the deeper and deeper darkness of the night, humming to the sound of crickets and sleet, and wandering into the depths of nowhere on roads that seemed endless. There was a route that the bus was traveling, but the riders wouldn’t know if it was following it. It was too dark for signs, too dark for landmarks, too dark to stay awake. Most of the passengers were snoring or at the very least trying to fall asleep. They wouldn’t arrive at their destination for hours, it was pointless to stay awake. 

A young girl was curled up into her mother’s lap, holding onto her jacket like it was a blanket. She had been sleeping for hours. This wasn’t the first bus they had traveled on, but it luckily would be their last. At least, that was what her mother had reassured her. 

The woman had been asleep until the bus ran over a pothole. As a reflex, she looked down at her daughter and sighed with relief. She was glad that her five-year-old was still sleeping. 

The woman’s eyes quickly flashed upward to the opposite seat in front of her. It was dark, but after a few blinks of getting used to it, she noticed eyes looking back at her. She frowned. Of course, the other woman wasn’t sleeping. It was almost to be expected. 

“It’s still going to be a few hours until we get there,” the mother mentioned to the other woman as softly as she could as to not wake up her daughter. “You should rest. We’ve been awake for at least thirty-six hours.” 

The other woman huffed. “I’m anxious, Earp. I am literally uprooting my life to move to a town I’ve never even visited before. This isn’t a vacation for me.” 

“We’ve been living on shit food and have been peeing on the back of a bus. This wouldn’t be a vacation for anyone.” 

She groaned. “Why we didn’t just fly--” 

“If I flew and came into town with a car, rumors would go wild, Haught. We have to do this without any suspicion. That’s the way we survive this. It’s how we don’t get caught.” 

Haught rolled her eyes. Earp treated her like she was an idiot sometimes. Or at least like she didn’t know how to break the law and not get caught. Which was frustrating. Haught was a cop. She knew exactly what she was doing. 

“And if this town and your family tells you to leave, what the hell are we going to do? As someone who always has multiple back-up plans, this seems to be not well planned out.” 

Earp snorted with anger. Haught annoyed her like crazy. “We’ve been traveling for days and you bring this up _now_? Fucking hell, Haught. You didn’t _have_ to come with us. We wanted you to come, but we are not taking you against your free will.” 

The other woman took a deep breath. She wanted to continue to be angry, but her friend was right. It was her decision to come with them, despite all her concerns and worries. Truth was, not that she’d ever tell Earp, there was no way she wouldn’t come with them. They were the only people in her life that she cared about. She had lost everyone else. 

“I know,” Haught whispered, defeated. “I know. You know me, Earp. This is way outside of my comfort zone. And I… I don’t want to be a burden for you two. You are going home to family and I’m just… going to be around. I don’t want to get in the way.” 

Earp shook her head and tried to control herself so she didn’t just stand up and wake her daughter just to comfort the woman. “Stop, Haught-plate. You are not just going to get in the way. We asked you to come with us for a reason. You’re our family too. That isn’t going to change. Not ever. You’re stuck with us, weirdo.” 

Haught nodded and tried to wash away her fears about intruding and starting a life with someone as explosive and dangerous as the woman in front of her. Earp got on her nerves like no one else. They could bicker and fight for hours without stopping. Together, they were a maelstrom. A mess. But she was also her best friend. The one person left in the world that she could rely on. And the little girl in her best friend’s arms owned her heart. She loved her like she was her own. 

“I’m glad Alice is sleeping,” Haught mentioned, changing the subject so that she didn’t have to talk about herself and her feelings of appreciation and dedication to the other woman. “At least one of us won’t be exhausted by the time we get there.” 

The mother nodded. “If you think you’re stressed, imagine how fucked up I’m feeling. I’m returning home. I must be batshit crazy or something.” 

Haught shuddered at the thought of returning to her home. Despite agreeing with her that she was crazy, Haught knew why her friend was doing this. It was definitely not for herself, but for her daughter. She didn't want Alice to grow up in a shitty city in America, a city that holds bad memories for all of them, but in a small town where she could grow up safely and with family. 

“We’re also running from the law.” 

Earp chuckled. “We wouldn’t have been caught by the law, Haught-ice, even if we had stayed. Cops are incompetent, remember?” 

Haught glared at her. “Asshole.” 

“Oops, I forgot,” Earp replied sarcastically. “You’re a cop. My bad.” 

Haught shook her head. “I’m barely a cop. I’m more of your kind, now.” 

Earp held in a cackle. “My kind? You think that you’re a criminal now, Haught? Jesus, you did what you had to do. Like everyone on this goddamn planet. Don’t get your balls twisted in a knot over it. It’s done. No need to continue worrying about it.” 

Haught sighed. There was no way she would ever stop worrying about it, no matter what her best friend told her. She felt morally corrupt, even though what she did was out of necessity. 

“Besides,” Earp added once she realized that the woman opposite of her was still neck deep into her own self-destructive thoughts. “It was all me. All you did was make sure I didn’t get caught. Again.” 

Haught knew she was just oversimplifying what had happened, but she appreciated the words nevertheless. Earp was right about one thing. What happened happened. She would never look at herself in the same way. 

“I want to be able to move on,” Haught confessed. “And I want to be able to let it all go like you can. I just don’t know if I can.” 

Earp looked down at her daughter. Both of them had lost so much. Even though they found a resemblance of justice and peace, that hadn’t meant everything was suddenly okay and good again (not that it was ever “good”). She had told Haught that she felt free from it all, but that wasn’t exactly the truth. Honestly, she still felt tethered to that horrible city. Like the city took a part of her, leaving a gaping hole and too many scars in its place. 

But she wouldn’t tell Haught that. Not ever. 

“That’s why we left, Haught. So we can finally find some fucking peace.” 

* * *

Haught had grown up in New York. She was used to freezing temperatures and the bitter wind, but this was different. She stepped off the bus and felt a chill roar through her core. She didn’t know if it was the colder temperatures or the bare town that made her feel so uncovered and vulnerable. Unlike Earp, who was unbothered by the temperature by wearing a thick parka, and Alice, who was held tightly in her mother’s warm arms, Haught was obviously freezing from the inside out. 

“I told you that you needed a better jacket,” Earp chided as they received their bags and suitcases from the storage on the bus.

Haught rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well. I guess I didn’t believe you. Where are we going?” 

Earp was staring at her hometown with fits of regurgitating memories and tried to take a deep breath. She had grown up here. At one point, she thought about her hometown with a childlike fondness that she thought would never escape her. That changed during teenagehood. And by the time she was crawling toward adulthood, the only hope she had left was running far away. 

But she was back. Staring at the rows of small businesses and bars that were slightly illuminated by street lamps. She turned around and found Haught looking at her carefully, her red hair blowing in the cold air. She hoped that with her by her side, everything this time would be different. That her daughter wouldn’t be as tormented by the town like she was. That this wouldn’t be a huge fucking mistake. 

“Home.”


	2. the introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wynonna, Nicole, and Alice arrive at the homestead.

Alice started squirming in the back of the cab and found herself in a completely different vehicle than the last time she was awake. It almost alarmed her until she noticed her mother’s warm smile. 

“Hey, kid,” Earp whispered gently and brushed the brown hair that they both shared out of her face. “We’re almost there.” 

Alice stretched so that she could lean forward and look out the window. They seemed to be driving through the woods, something she was starting to get used to during the trip. Growing up in the city, it wasn’t something she had typically seen. But she liked it. It was definitely better than skyscrapers and bridges. 

She didn’t really know what was happening, exactly. Her life seemed to revolve around moving parts that were always changing. She had learned how to adapt quickly, running from apartment to apartment, from city to neighboring city. But she never felt alone. Her mother and her other parental figure made sure of that. 

Alice remembers the whispers. A few weeks ago, she heard her mom telling her aunt about Purgatory, her hometown, and a man who died there. She remembers the hushed conversation about leaving Brooklyn and the country. She remembers them packing quickly and telling her that the move would be a good thing for everyone. She believed them. She had no reason not to. 

When the car stopped, her mom took a deep breath and sighed. She turned to look at Alice and gave her another big smile. Alice and her mom always found their strength from each other. 

The three of them got out of the cab after paying the driver. Haught made the mental note of needing to buy a car soon. She wouldn’t let the brunette get a motorcycle for the three of them. 

With one hand, Earp held her daughter’s hand and in the other hand, she dragged a suitcase that had her daughter’s things in them. Haught carried everything else. They trudged their way along the long gravel driveway and almost stopped once they noticed the lights turn on inside the homestead. Whoever was inside must have heard them. But they kept walking until they reached the front door when it swung open. 

A younger brunette, five years shy of her sister, appeared in the doorway, mouth gaping. Wearing fuzzy pants and a tank top with a beautifully designed tree, she shivered as she stared at her older sister, a young girl, and a mysterious redhead she had never seen before. 

“Hey, Waves,” Earp greeted with an embarrassed grin. “Do you mind if we come inside?” 

Waverly Earp opened her mouth and then closed it. She hadn’t seen her sister since she left on the day of her high school graduation. That was nine years ago. Waverly was thirteen. After years of hoping her sister would walk back into their house, she had given up on such a pipe dream. She never thought this day would come. 

“It’s not even 4:00 am.” 

The older brunette’s smile faltered. She knew that her younger sister might be upset, but she had prepared herself for a warm welcome. A big hug and crying, maybe. Something that would make her extremely uncomfortable, but better than whatever _this_ was.

Alice wrapped her arms around her mom’s waist and hid behind her slightly. She wasn’t afraid of the woman at the door, but even she could feel the tension. 

“I know,” Earp whispered and shook her head slightly. “We didn’t want to come in the middle of the night. It was just that… the buses arrived at this time. And… jesus, Waves. We’ve been traveling for days. And besides, I have someone to introduce to you.” 

Waverly looked at the redhead first. From the small amount of light, she could tell that the redhead was tall and extremely pretty. Worn out and exhausted, but pretty. Though, she quickly realized her sister wasn’t referring to the redhead. Wynonna had put her hand on top of the young girl’s head in the middle of the two adults. 

The five-year-old was almost a clone of her mother except for her green eyes. But she had the same mouth, the same nose, the same effortlessly wavy hair. It only took Waverly a few seconds for her to realize the relation. She gasped slightly and her eyes immediately watered. She had a niece. 

“Her name’s Alice. Alice Michelle. After--” 

“Mama.” Waverly crouched down and smiled at the young brunette. “My name’s Waverly. I’m your aunt, Alice. I’m very happy to meet you.” 

Alice recognized her mother in this stranger’s smile. She grinned at the woman, showing her dimples, and wrapped her arms around her. Her aunt even smelled a little like her mother when she wasn’t drinking (which was happening more and more recently). The kindness of her warmed her up immediately. 

“Waverly! What are you doing letting all the cold air ins--” An older woman stopped speaking once she approached the door and noticed who her niece was speaking to. She looked from her older niece, to the redhead, to her younger niece, to the young girl that had let go of Waverly. “What’s going on? Wynonna, what the hell are you doing here?” 

Wynonna cleared her throat. She knew this was this tricky part. “Gus, this is my daughter, Alice Michelle Earp. And this is Haught. Nicole Haught.” 

Before Gus had a chance to say anything, Nicole said politely (trying to make a good first impression), “It’s a pleasure to meet the both of you. Ear-- _Wynonna_ has told me so much about you.” 

Gus didn’t even look at the redhead. She kept her attention on the young girl that was looking at her with curiosity. Her heart surged with several emotions. She was amazed to be meeting her great-niece, but she was also furious that Wynonna had a child without telling anyone. Furious that she was showing up now of all times. Furious that Wynonna had left in the first place. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Wynonna sighed, unsurprised that her aunt was so suspicious of her motives. “The three of us, we’re moving to Purgatory.”

Gus thought that was the most outrageous thing she could have possibly heard coming out of her niece’s mouth. She would have laughed with incredulity if she wasn’t so startled. “Waverly, darlin', take Alice and Nicole inside and get them something to drink. I’m going to talk to your sister alone for a few minutes.” 

Waverly didn’t want to and hated being ordered around like a child, but she nodded and led the redhead and the young girl into the small home, afraid that Gus was going to kick her sister out and that she’d never see her again. 

She noticed that Alice was clinging to the redhead as they followed her inside. She told them to sit on the couch and warm up as she went to go get water for them. Nicole smiled at her gratefully and Waverly couldn't help but glance at the wedding band on her ring finger. Waverly didn’t say anything, but she walked to the kitchen wondering why her sister hadn’t introduced the redhead as her wife. 

Outside, Wynonna crossed her arms and stared at her aunt with uncertainty. She completely expected Gus to yell at her, interrogate her, and scold her. But she didn’t expect this silence. 

“Gus…” Wynonna began and pressed her palm onto her forehead. “I’m so sorry about Curtis.” 

“The funeral was last week,” Gus snarled with distaste. 

Wynonna frowned. “I know. Haught had to give in her two weeks' notice and we needed to pack up and… I’m sorry. I wish we could have gotten here sooner.” 

Gus stood up straighter and tried to catch any lies that came out of her niece’s mouth. “Why are you here, Wynonna? Why are you _really_ here? And don’t give me any bullshit, alright? You’ve done enough damage.” 

“I’m not doing this for me,” Wynonna explained truthfully. “If it was just me, I wouldn’t ever come back. This town ruined me, Gus. Being here isn’t fun for me. But I have a daughter. And she needs stability. She needs her family.” 

“You caused a lot of pain when you left. And you think you can waltz back into your sister’s life like nothin' happened?” 

Wynonna shook her head and sighed. Her aunt hadn’t realized how much thought she had put into this decision. “I know what I did, Gus. I know what I did to her. I shouldn’t have left like I did. I regret that. But shit, Gus. I had to leave and I don’t regret leaving. But I’m here now. Because Alice needs her family.” 

Gus stared at her for a few seconds and realized in a sudden burst of emotion that her niece _wasn’t_ lying. That her niece wanted to stay and raise a family. That she could have Wynonna back after missing her for so long. 

“Listen, Wynonna. Trust is incredibly important to me. I just don’t know you anymore. But if you are willing to prove your honesty, I’ll let you. You and your family can stay here for as long as you need. As long as it’s alright with your sister.” 

Wynonna breathed out a sigh of relief and smiled. “Thank you. You’ll love Alice, Gus. She isn’t anything like me.” 

Gus forced a smile and tried to not imagine what Wynonna could have meant by that. “I’m sure I’ll love her. You just need to promise me one thing, Wynonna. You need to promise me that you don’t break your sister’s heart like last time. She still hadn’t recovered.” 

“I promise, Gus. Because I understand. I hadn’t recovered yet either.” 

* * *

“Alice can sleep in Willa’s room,” Gus explained as Wynonna carried her curious daughter around the halls while Gus showed her and Nicole around the homestead and pointed out the changes. “Wynonna, you and your… Nicole can share your bedroom. It’s exactly how you left it.” 

Wynonna almost laughed at her aunt’s assumption that she and Haught were a couple and almost laughed harder when she noticed the redhead’s terror. Despite living together for many months, the two of them had never been romantic, even though there were a few nights full of whiskey that could have risked their platonic bond. Wynonna would give it some time before she corrected her aunt, however. She wanted to torture Haught a little bit. 

“Thanks, Gus. We really appreciate it.” 

Gus harrumphed, not really believing her niece. She was still doubtful that the brunette wouldn’t just leave before morning. 

Wynonna turned to her sister and asked, “Is Willa’s room… is it the…” 

“It’s the same,” Waverly answered, her voice dropping suddenly with a frown on her face. Willa was almost taboo in their family, though, she hated that she didn’t feel the same way about her. She was barely old enough to remember what her oldest sister looked like. She doesn’t miss her like everyone else. It’s just an empty memory filled with the grief that she wished that she felt. “We can… we can decorate it differently later. I’m sure Alice wants her own stuff up around the room.” 

Alice grinned at the suggestion and nodded at her aunt. After living in tiny, run-down, and cockroach-infested apartments her entire life, she liked the homestead. She liked the creaky floors, the warmth from the fireplace, the land the house was on, the lack of shared walls with neighbors, and the people who were living there. 

When Wynonna noticed her daughter yawn, she said, “We should get you off to bed, chicken. Are you excited to sleep in an actual bed and not my arms or icky bus seats?” 

Alice nodded. Her mom carried her to the bedroom at the top of the stairs. She opened the door and turned on the light and Alice stared at the pink-colored walls with wonder. The room was covered with art and animals. Wiggling out of her mom’s arms, she darted toward the bed with stuffed animals dumped on top of it. She laughed and pulled the covers back to get into the bed. 

She looked up and realized her mother wasn’t even looking at her. Instead, she was looking at a picture on the bedside table. Alice moved so she could see it. There was a picture of three little girls, ones that looked like herself, sitting on a hammock, smiling wildly with sun-kissed cheeks. 

Wynonna slowly trudged over with trepidation and picked up the homemade frame. Sitting down on the bed, Alice laid her head on her mom’s shoulder and stared at almost familiar smiling faces. 

“That’s your auntie Waverly,” Wynonna whispered and pointed to the youngest girl in the middle, with her two front teeth out and pigtails, barely five-years-old. “That’s me right there on the left. And the girl on the other side, the girl with two braids… that’s your aunt Willa. This was her room.”

Alice could hear the fondness and love in her mom’s voice which made her wonder why she had never heard of her aunt Willa before. “Where is she?” 

Wynonna traced her finger over her sister and sighed. It was hard for her to think about what happened. Where Willa could be right now. Because the only two options were both too horrible to even consider. “I don’t know, kid. I wish I did, but I don’t know. She’s missing, do you understand?” 

Alice looked up at her mother and realized that she had tears in her eyes. She looked back at the picture and felt her heart swell. She rarely saw her mother smile like she did in the picture. 

“I’m sorry, Mama.” 

Wynonna brushed the hair out of her daughter’s face and shook her head. “There’s no need to be sorry. I’m the one that’s sorry, baby. Sorry that you didn’t have the chance to meet her.” 

Alice frowned and bit her lip. “She’s not coming back?” 

“I don’t think so. But that’s okay, you know why?” At the shake of her daughter’s innocent head, Wynonna explained, “because we’re together and we’re here. And we can have a fresh start. I love you, Alice. So, so much.” 

“More than all the stars in the sky?” 

“More than all the stars.” 

Wynonna gently laid her daughter back onto the bed and tucked her in, trying very hard to not think too much about Willa and fall apart. It was odd seeing her daughter in her older sister’s bed. It almost seemed like something that would happen in a dream. Or a nightmare.

She immediately decided that they needed to buy new sheets. 

* * *

Haught was already in her pajamas (a New York Rangers tank top and sweatpants) by the time Earp had found her in her old bedroom. The redhead was staring at a picture on the wall. One of the two pictures in her room. Wynonna approached her slowly and frowned at what she was looking at. 

“Who are they?” 

Earp didn’t want to answer. She hadn’t said their names in years. She barely remembered the way her mouth felt when she said it. She didn’t know if she was ready to say it again. She had left them all those years ago. Abandoned them. When she promised that she wouldn’t. Guilt settled in her stomach and she crossed her arms. 

“The guy with all the hair, that’s my old friend Doc. And the other guy, he’s Dolls. Xavier Dolls. They were my best friends. Actually, my only friends. Other than the occasional people who I would drink with.” 

Nicole knew her friend’s voice well enough to know that she was inching toward a touchy subject. She didn’t know if Wynonna needed to stop or get it out. She hoped for the latter. 

“Do they still live here?” 

“Hell if I know. No goodbyes, remember?”

“You could have looked them up on Facebook.” 

Earp glared at her best friend. “They are not the kind of people who join Facebook, Haught-shit. I promise you that.” 

Haught put her hands up in surrender. “Got it, asshole. I won’t talk about your mysterious friends anymore. How’s Alice doing? Did she settle in alright?” 

The brunette grunted yes in reply and started to look through her old clothes from childhood. Most of the clothes were similar to what she still wore today. A lot of leather, tank tops, band t-shirts, and ripped jeans. In her closet, a certain shirt caught her eye. It used to be Doc’s, before Wynonna had taken it and kept it as her own. She grabbed the oversized t-shirt with The Grateful Dead on it and took off her clothes. 

“Oh, god. I know we’ve lived together for a while, but can you at least bother to warn me when you take off all your clothes?” 

Wynonna rolled her eyes and put the t-shirt on, enjoying the feeling of it. It smelled a little musty from not being washed in so long, but the scent slightly reminisced of whiskey and weed. She didn’t remember if that’s how she used to smell or Doc. Or both of them. 

Nicole sat onto the bed and groaned. “Why didn’t you correct Gus about us? She thinks we’re together.” 

Earp smirked. “Why didn’t _you_ correct her if you care that much?” 

Haught glared at her, knowing exactly what her friend was trying to accomplish. “Because she doesn’t know me. You’re her niece. And it would be… stop grinning like an idiot. I know you’re enjoying this.” 

“I like making you uncomfortable,” the brunette admitted as she shrugged nonchalantly and noticed that her friend wasn’t as amused. “C’mon, Haught-cakes. Don’t be like that. Get into the dusty and musty sheets with me. Doesn’t that sound appealing?” 

“Don’t make it sound like something it isn’t, pervert. But fine.” Haught crawled into the sheets and felt the bed squeak under her. She felt weird in her friend’s childhood sheets. Like she was in a place where she didn’t belong. 

“No need to be all tense,” Wynonna mentioned calmly as she put an arm around her stiff friend. “You aren’t a seventeen-year-old closeted girl, Haught. We aren’t going to get caught.” 

Nicole huffed and turned away from her in annoyance. “Don’t be ridiculous, Earp. I’m tense because this situation is weird and I feel like I’ve walked into your past and I’m unwelcome.” 

Earp sighed and flopped onto the bed so she could press her head into her pillow. This was the last thing she wanted for the redhead. “You’re not unwelcome, Haught. You’re in _my_ bedroom. You’re _my_ guest. I’m not promising that Gus will always be welcome to you, but I know that I need you.” 

Haught raised her eyebrows. Earp had been kind to her twice in the last few hours. Warm, even. Which was somewhat odd and surprising. But it didn’t completely rid her of her worries. She felt uncomfortable about staying in a house with mostly strangers that didn’t seem to like her. 

“Maybe your aunt would like me if we _were_ together.” 

Earp almost fell off the bed in complete surprise. _"_ _What?_ Are you saying that you want to pretend to be my girlfriend? You? Nicole Haught? You want to pretend to be with me for who knows how long?” 

After hearing it out loud, the redhead shook her head. Wynonna was right, she definitely _couldn’t_ do that. “No. But they wouldn’t understand what we are.” 

Wynonna couldn’t agree more. “Well, I don’t want to fuck or kiss you.” 

“Me neither. But we’re not exactly friends are we? Best friends, maybe. But even that isn’t quite right.” 

The brunette didn’t want to think about it. The day was complicated enough without this ‘what are we’ conversation that she thought she would avoid by not being in a romantic relationship. 

“Don’t overthink it, Haught. Go to sleep. We deserve some goddamn sleep.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please review if you can or come talk to me on twitter @incwynsita or tumblr @haught-n-cold-gay


	3. the first day

Nicole woke up with a sharp pain in her neck. Her head, no longer on the soft pillow, rested on a part of Wynonna’s arm. The brunette was still snoring, her hands slightly twitching against the redhead’s abdomen. Haught felt Wynonna’s bare ass against her thigh and rolled her eyes because _of course_ she wasn’t wearing any underwear. 

There was a knock on the door before it opened, causing the redhead to poke her friend awake. Wynonna jumped up and stared at her sister who was in the doorway, blinking furiously to see why her sleep was so suddenly interrupted.

Waverly looked at the scene with bewilderment and curiosity. Her sister was only wearing an old t-shirt and the redhead looked like she was embarrassed to have been caught with her in the same bed. Which was odd, since Waverly figured they were married. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt…” Waverly trailed off, not knowing what to say while she was intensely staring. “But it’s nearly noon and Alice said that she wanted to see the town. Gus and I… we thought we’d go to the diner for some brunch if that’s okay with you two.” 

Wynonna's stomach rumbled and Nicole nodded vehemently. Despite not knowing if they were ready to interact with people again, they were absolutely starving and hungry for some genuine food. 

“Okay, great,” Waverly said a little more perkily before adding, “Well, I’ll let you both get dressed. We’re ready to go when you are.” 

When Waverly had left them alone, Earp turned to the redhead and asked, “Want to shower with me? It’ll be faster. And after days on those shit buses, I hate to admit this, but I sti--” 

“Won’t that make them think we’re--” 

“Who gives a shit, Haught? You care too much about what other people think. When we lived together in New York we’d do it all the time. Who says it has to be different here?” 

Haught glared at her like the brunette was being naive. “Maybe because we’re staying with your family and we’re in a small town where people might not be as accepting.” 

Earp blinked at the sudden realization. “You’re worried about the homophobia. The reactions.” At Haught’s nod, she sighed. “This town is fucked up. There’s its fair share of homophobia and racism and sexism like any other small town, but you shouldn’t let it control you. I was basically out in high school and I was fine.” 

Haught tilted her head and stared. “You ran away from this town. How could have it been fine?” 

“Believe me,” Earp answered earnestly. “It wasn’t the homophobia that pushed me away, alright? People hated me for other reasons.” 

“And that’s supposed to make me feel better?” 

Earp sighed as she pulled clothes out of her bag that she brought with her from New York. “No. But it’s the truth. So grow a pair and follow me, alright?” 

Nicole rolled her eyes but followed her anyway. She felt more vulnerable in this small town. In New York, no one gave a shit about what she, or anyone else for that matter, was doing. Everyone was so busy that they didn’t bother even knowing who lived right next to them. It might have sometimes been cold or heartless, but at least she felt normal, even if that meant that she felt invisible. 

* * *

“The first thing we need to do after lunch is get you a fucking jacket,” Wynonna mentioned as the two of them put their clothes on after a short shower. “That sweater and jean jacket ain’t going to cut it. Maybe we can ask Waverly--” 

“It’s fine, Earp,” Nicole interrupted a little harshly as she stared at her ring. “Maybe I should take it off. So that I don’t give anyone--” 

“Stop it, Haught,” Earp commanded as she put her hand on the redhead’s hand, covering the ring. “Just take a breath. You haven’t ever taken it off. And that’s okay. It’s your life. Don’t let other people control it. Keep it on if you want to.” 

Haught looked up at the brunette and nodded. Even though she felt like the adult between them, sometimes it was Wynonna who kept them together. Earp wouldn’t let Nicole fall apart. 

“C’mon, Haught-stuff. Let’s head out. Besides, I miss that kid of mine.” She patted Nicole’s shoulder and opened the door to the real world, where it wasn’t just the two of them. 

“Mama! Nic!” Alice shouted and ran toward her family, wrapping her small arms around them as they approached the living room. 

“Hey, chicken, sleep well?” Wynonna asked her daughter as she kissed the top of her head. 

Alice nodded and grinned. “Auntie Waverly made some mushy hot cereal. She put strawberries in it.” 

Wynonna laughed and turned to her younger sister. “Your famous oatmeal, huh? Thank you for that. I should have set an alarm, but I guess we needed the sleep. I don’t know if you’re aware, babygirl, but buses are not the most comfortable places in the world for sleeping.” 

Waverly nodded, understanding what her older sister meant. She was happy to get up with the young girl, an early riser herself on most days. Though, she couldn’t really go back to sleep after everything that had happened. She spent the night trying to remember the day that her older sister had left, trying to see what could have been the cause for her disappearance and whispering to herself that she wasn’t the reason. 

Gus cleared her throat and announced, “We should get going. You all are probably starving. We can take the truck if the three of you squeeze in the back.” 

Earp didn’t like being in the back of vehicles, but she didn’t say anything. It wasn’t like she wanted to stick her sister in the back with her daughter and her best friend. Though, she did realize that they probably could have walked there. But after seeing the look that Gus gave Nicole for having such a thin jacket, Wynonna guessed that she was just trying to prevent the redhead from freezing. 

Once they all got into the vehicle, Waverly turned around and told Nicole, “My boyfriend works at the town’s hunting store. He can get you the friend and family discount for a new coat if you’d like.” 

Wynonna snorted. “I tried to convince her to borrow something of ours. She’s a stubborn one. But we’ll definitely take you up on that offer. Who are you dating?” 

“Champ Hardy.” 

The older brunette’s eyes widened. That was a name she wasn’t expecting. “Champ Hardy? He was like sixteen when I… when I left.” 

Waverly nodded, noticing the slight judgment in her sister’s voice and tried to ignore it. “He asked me out when he was a senior. A bit of a cliche, really. Senior star quarterback dates sophomore cheerleader. But it works. Though, now he’s working at a store and I work in the archives.” 

Wynonna had to hide her grimace. She knew Champ Hardy back in the day. He was practically foaming at the mouth around every single female he met. She hoped that maybe he had matured by now, been a good guy for her sister, but she had a lot of doubt. In her experience, people didn’t change that much. 

Nicole stared outside the window. She remembered some of the establishments from driving past last night, but the town was different in the day. It was gloomy instead of scary. She almost liked it. It reminded her of living in Walla Walla, Washington where she attended college. 

It was only a short drive, something Nicole, Wynonna, and Alice wasn’t used to after living in the city and dealing with either heavy traffic via cab or foot traffic via the subway. Not that they were used to going to very many diners. Most of their meals included cereal, take-out, salad, and leftovers. 

The diner almost resembled a destination of a cheesy movie. People were at the bar talking to the staff and others were at booths, smiling and eating like there was nothing wrong with the world. 

The five of them squeezed onto a booth, Alice practically sitting on Wynonna’s lap. The brunette almost reached over and almost held the redhead’s hand, just for the sake of comfort and reassurance, but she stopped herself right when the waitress seemed to appear out of nowhere. 

“Gus! Waverly! We haven’t seen you two in here in… man. How long has it even been? Can I get your--” The woman stopped when she noticed the three people sitting across the townies. “Wynonna? You… lord have mercy. Are you back in town?” 

Wynonna gave the woman a fake smile and tried to hide her dread. “Permanently, I’m afraid. How ya doin', Hetty? It’s been a while.” 

Hetty chuckled nervously and tucked some of her hair behind her ear. “Permanently? Wow. That’s… wow. And… who are the people that you brought with you?” 

Earp tried to not roll her eyes. “This is my daughter, Alice. And this is… she’s my… her name is Nicole Haught.” 

“Nice to meet you,” Nicole greeted with a tight smile as Alice waved kindly. 

“It’s a pleasure,” Hetty replied, not bothering to hide her own staring at the redhead. “Well, I’ll give y’all a few minutes to look at the menu.” 

When the girl with honey-colored hair left, Nicole leaned close to Wynonna and whispered, “What was that?” 

“We were in the same grade. She didn’t like me much.” 

“Why?” 

Wynonna sighed and wished that the redhead was less nosy. “Because I refused to be like someone like her.” 

Nicole definitely understood that. She didn’t need any more explanation. Despite being polar opposites, she realized a while ago that both she and Earp weren’t really understood as kids. Or as adults, really. Which was why they worked. 

Waverly watched the interaction between the two and furrowed her eyebrows. They were certainly the oddest couple she had ever seen. Nicole Haught with carefully brushed red hair, a navy blue sweater, a wedding band, bleached jeans, boots, and warm eyes vs Wynonna Earp with chipped black nail polish, leather pants, a tattoo slightly covered by her sleeve, a chip on her shoulder, and no wedding band. At least on the outside, they didn’t seem to quite match. As people or a couple. 

“When did you guys start seeing each other?” Waverly asked them when the curiosity and silence became too much. 

Before either of them could answer, Alice interrupted her own coloring to tell her aunt, “Two years ago. But Nicole moved in less than a year ago.” 

Both Wynonna and Nicole groaned. Alice made it sound like they _were_ a couple. 

“When did you guys get married?” Waverly asked, not wanting to sound hurt that she wasn’t invited to the wedding, but she couldn’t pretend to not be slightly offended. 

“We’re not married,” Wynonna answered before her daughter could say another thing. 

Waverly blinked. “Oh.” She was not expecting that at all. 

“We’re not dating either,” Wynonna stated as firmly as she could. 

Gus put her hand up to stop her niece. “You don’t have to explain it to us. We might live in a small town, but we understand what’s goin' on here.” 

“No,” Wynonna said, her eyes widening. “No, I don’t think you do.” 

“We are okay with your relationship, Wynonna. Or whatever it is you would like to call it. We won’t pry.” 

Wynonna facepalmed and turned to look at Nicole for help. She just sighed and shook her head. They would have to explain it some other time when they weren’t in public. 

Once again, they returned to silence until they ordered food from Hetty, who was just as apprehensive as before. None of them knew what to say to each other. 

“So, Nicole,” Gus began after Hetty left, “what is it that you do for a living?” 

Haught bit her lip. It wasn’t like she was embarrassed by her job, she just felt like she didn’t deserve the title of her job anymore. Not after what she did. What she and Wynonna did. No amount of reassurances from Earp would change her mind about that. 

“I worked for the NYPD. I was a cop. And before you ask, no, it’s not like the shows or movies. There would never be people like Castle allowed to be consultants. Though, sometimes I did feel like the detectives were just as cocky.” 

Both Gus and Waverly raised their eyebrows at the same time. They were not expecting Wynonna to be tied to someone who followed the rules, let alone enforced them. 

“Hey!” Earp shouted at them. “Don’t look so surprised.” 

Gus leaned forward and whispered to Nicole, “You do know that Wynonna has a record, right?” At Nicole’s small nod, the middle-age woman sighed. “Good. I have to admit, when I saw you three at my door, I thought you two were running from the law. It’s good to know one of you is a law abider.” 

Nicole gulped and looked down at her coffee cup and tried to not feel the shame roar through her bones. It had been almost two years since she had committed a crime. And she hadn’t felt the same since. 

Waverly noticed the tense expression on the stranger’s face and asked, “Are you looking for a job here in Purgatory? I know the department really needs more manpower. At this point, it’s basically just Nedley. And Lonnie who… well… was given the job out of pity.” 

Wynonna snorted. “Can’t say I’m surprised Nedley’s still around. He gets off on arresting more than any cop I’ve ever met. I’m not saying that’s you of course, Haught.” 

Nicole rolled her eyes. “Thanks, Earp. And to answer your question, Waverly, I think I would be interested. It’s all I’ve ever done, I don’t even know what else I would be without a badge.” 

Earp smirked. “Probably a hooligan who works at Starbucks. I’m still surprised that I hang with a professional nark.” 

Ignoring her niece’s statement, Gus asked, “What made you want to be a cop?” 

Nicole immediately frowned. This was the last thing that she wanted to talk about. She didn’t want to think about that night when she was saved by a cop. The night that cursed her nightmares. Luckily for her, everyone turned their attention away from her when Alice jumped up slightly from Wynonna’s lap. 

“Mama!” Alice shouted and clapped when she saw Hetty bring the food to the table. Hetty put the plate of chocolate chip pancakes with a whipped cream smile in front of her and she cheered. She wasn’t used to this kind of food or attention. 

“I’ve never seen anyone this happy to see pancakes. Except maybe you, ‘Nonna,” Gus commented with a rare grin. “Are you still able to eat six in one setting?” 

“Of course. When I was pregnant, I was able to eat ten once. Bad idea, though it felt like the right decision at the time. I blame you, kid. Always messing with my brain.” She tickled her daughter and Alice squealed with glee. 

Both Gus and Waverly watched with awe and sadness. They absolutely hated that they weren’t around for Wynonna when she was pregnant. Or for the first few years of Alice’s life. They wished that she hadn't gone through it alone, at an age, they both realized, that was fairly young. 

Another fact hit Gus right in the chest. She felt the pain scatter through her whole body. Her Curtis would never know that he had a grand-niece. He would never know that a girl he helped raise had a little girl of his own. He would never get to meet Alice. 

Wynonna didn’t see the grim expression on her aunt’s face. Instead, she dug into the food and moaned with sheer delight. “They do not have this in Brooklyn. I mean they do, but it's a hell of a lot more expensive.” 

“Brooklyn?” Waverly asked her sister. “You mean Brooklyn, New York? You weren’t even living in Canada?” 

Earp gulped and replied truthfully (though vaguely), “New York was the closest place to Canada I have lived in the past ten years.” Noticing the horrified look her sister was giving her, she added, “But I’m back now. And that’s all that matters, right?” 

No one answered. Because, honestly, no one, not even Wynonna herself, knew if that was the truth.


	4. awkward moments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehe this has been my first update in a... while. I'm so sorry about that, yall. I hope you still continue to enjoy this story! It's nothing compared to last night's episode, but alas!

“Babe!” Champ Hardy greeted as he ran up to Waverly and pulled her into a hug, holding her in a way that made her want to squirm out of his arms. “I didn’t know you were visiting me today! If I woulda known, I woulda… I dunno. Put deodorant on.” 

Earp and Haught looked at each other and shared an eye roll. They were both unimpressed by the jock/frat boy that was obviously trying to grab Waverly’s ass during the hug. 

“I brought some people with me today,” Waverly murmured with less excitement than usual. It sounded more like a mother’s warning than cheerful news. But Champ didn’t seem to notice or care about the tone of her voice. “This is Nicole Haught. And you know--” 

“Wynonna Earp,” Champ interrupted and walked away from his girlfriend to approach the older brunette. “It’s been a long time.”

“Champ… gosh. Look at you. New haircut?” She didn’t know one positive thing to say to him. 

Champ laughed and ran his fingers through his slicked-back hair. “I can’t believe you noticed.” 

Wynonna wanted to puke. She hated that of all the people in the town that her sister could have been with, she chose the man child. Part of her wanted to drag her sister out of the store and beg her to break up with him and realize that she deserved better, but she knew that she couldn’t. That was something that a sister would do. Wynonna understood that she hadn’t earned that title back yet. 

“We’re here to buy Nicole a jacket, Champ. We can catch up later.” Waverly ignored the puppy dog look that her boyfriend gave her and turned around and grabbed Nicole by the arm and led her to the jacket section. 

“Mama!” Alice shrieked and tugged her mom’s heavy jacket. “What’s that?” 

Wynonna looked at what her daughter was pointing to and sighed. “That’s called taxidermy, kid. People enjoy stuffing dead animals for some sick reason.” 

Gus snorted and told the young girl, “your mom was afraid of all the taxidermy when she was younger. She said that it was like they were staring at her. Didn’t like the eyes, I guess.” 

Wynonna flicked her aunt’s arm and shook her head. “I was not _afraid,_ okay? The whole thing is freaky, though. I’ll definitely admit that. Very serial killer vibes.” 

“You’re lucky your own mama took down all the taxidermy when you were a kid,” Gus told her as they slowly made their way through the aisles of the store. “Your daddy loved it. Always a hunter, too.” 

Earp felt her heart drop into her ass. She held onto her daughter tighter, trying to tether herself to the ground and not remember the way her father looked like. _His rough hands and heavy boots._ What he smelled like. _Sweat, smoke, and gunpowder._ What he sounded like. _The rumble of his deep voice._

Alice knew not to say a word about him. She asked once about her grandparents. She remembered the way her mother looked at her wordlessly; her mouth open wide, her hands shaking, and her eyes barely even blinking. She remembered the final response and how her mom had explained her parents were gone and that she didn’t want to think about them. 

Nicole almost felt like something was suddenly _very_ wrong. Like her spidey senses were tingling, she turned around to look at Earp with trepidation. She could tell that something wasn’t right by her facial expressions, but Haught knew it could be a number of things. Nicole had a list in her head of all the things that could set the brunette off or make her fall into a hole of despair. She guessed that Gus had brought something up that Wynonna was definitely unprepared for. 

“Wow, we split up for one second and already you’re staring at my sister,” Waverly mentioned with a sliver of humor to try to get to know the mysterious redhead. Nicole looked at her with wide-eyed fear and Waverly said, “No, not in a bad way. It’s a good thing that she’s cared for. Looked after.” 

Haught bit her lip. She had only known the younger brunette for a few hours, but it was obvious how kind and thoughtful she was and how much she cared about her family. She wanted to be completely honest with her and explain that it was Wynonna who looked after her, but she didn’t know how to form the words in her mouth. 

“I actually think you guys seem like a fairytale,” Waverly added, not minding that the redhead wasn’t speaking. “I mean, that kind of relationship. You both are like polar opposites. Star-crossed lovers. You both love each other. That’s obvious.” 

Waverly wasn’t technically wrong about that. They _did_ love each other. But probably, no _definitely,_ not in the way that Waverly was thinking. 

“You and Champ have been together much longer than me and…” she trailed off, unable to say Wynonna’s name in that sentence. “That’s a fairytale all on its own. High school sweethearts. People write books solidly about that.” 

Waverly smiled at her gratefully but then shook her head. “He’s Champ and I’m Waverly. We’re two kids who never wanted to leave Purgatory. It just… made sense.” 

Nicole was pragmatic about many things, but she still understood the necessity for passion in a relationship. She frowned at the idea that Waverly didn’t have any in hers when she deserved so much of it. 

“You have the right to want more, you know,” Nicole whispered gently and grinned at her when the brunette looked up at her with almost… adoration. At the very least, with deep appreciation.

Waverly decided there weren’t people like Nicole who lived in Purgatory as she uncharacteristically stared at the redhead with her beating chest. People in Purgatory didn’t reach for the stars. Not in jobs or wealth or lovers. But Nicole was looking at Waverly as if the brunette _could._ She couldn’t tell if her heart was racing at the idea of finding someone she was passionate about or if it was the redhead that made her so… excited. 

They both jumped when they heard the sound of Wynonna clearing her throat behind them. “Have you two found a jacket yet? Alice and I were talking about heading to the bowling alley next.” 

“I think this one would be good for you,” Waverly mentioned as casually as she could as she picked up a jacket from the rack and passed it to the redhead. “I have one just like it.”

* * *

The bowling alley was consumed by old 90s music and strange lighting that made everything almost look yellow. Wynonna loved it. The ugly shoes, stale food, and unruly competition. It was one of the few places in Purgatory she remembered completely in fondness. That was probably because her father hadn’t stepped within one inch of the establishment. It wasn’t his scene.

Haught smiled at the matching grins on Wynonna and Alice’s faces. There was always a lot to do in New York, but with their jobs and their hectic life, they rarely were able to go out and do something like this. Unless it was a birthday or a special occasion. 

Waverly hadn’t been here in years. Not after her sister left. There were too many memories of her in the building. Too many reminders of who she was missing. She tried to remain happy as she picked out which bowling ball to choose first. But she couldn’t stop worrying about the possibility of her sister running away again. She understood that it was different this time, but the fear was paralyzing. 

Gus had wanted to give the younger people their alone time, so she had already gone back to the homestead to start making dinner. Admittedly, she was also stuck in her thoughts about Curtis. She missed her husband more than she would have expected. He had been dying for a long time. She thought she would be prepared to see him go, but she wasn’t. She hated that he was gone, missing everything, and that she was still here. She was mad at him for it. 

Waverly watched as Wynonna mercilessly flirted with the boy at the counter and turned to the redhead to see her reaction. She expected Nicole to be furious or at the very least annoyed. But the redhead was just chatting with Alice with a grin on her face. It almost made Waverly angry. In that very heated second, she wanted to tell Nicole that she, too, deserved more. 

Wynonna returned to the pack with a tray of nachos in hand. “See what a little bit of flirting will do? We don’t get half-assed nachos. Poor baby thinking he could really have me.” 

Nicole smirked and leaned over to whisper to Waverly, “your sister doesn’t really realize that sometimes all you have to do is be _nice,_ not make ‘em want to take their pants off.” 

Waverly laughed, glad that the redhead wasn’t offended that her… wife or girlfriend or whatever was flirting with another person. Then again, she hadn’t seen Wynonna flirt with Nicole once in the whole time that she was around them. It seemed strange and out of character for the brunette to not do that with a partner. 

“Did you say something, Haught-pretzel?” Earp asked her best friend, narrowing her eyes at her. 

“Of course not, Earp. Besides, isn’t it time for me to beat you?” 

“Ha!” Wynonna shouted, putting her hands on her hips. “In your dreams, red. In your dreams. Alice and I are going to crush you, aren’t we, kid?” 

“Sorry, Nic,” Alice apologized with an embarrassed grin. “Mama and I are gonna win.” 

“Hey, I didn’t know we were playing in pairs. What are you two going to do? Add up your points together?” Haught asked them as she crossed her arms, in no way seriously offended. At Wynonna’s noncommittal shrug, she turned to the younger brunette and said, “you want to be my partner, Waverly?” 

Waverly bit her lip. “I’m not really good at bowling. Well… I just haven’t bowled in years. I’m probably not the partner you want.” 

Nicole shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. We’re just looking to have _fun,_ right _Wynonna?”_

Earp rolled her eyes and grunted. She definitely wasn’t willing to lose. Not to Nicole.

* * *

“Oh… fudge,” Waverly muttered again as her bowling ball landed in the gutter. She hadn’t played in years and she found herself to be very distracted. She was thinking a lot about her sister and the times they went bowling when they were younger and things were better. After their mom left, they stopped going to the bowling alley as a family. Wynonna didn’t want to do anything with anyone unless they were her friends. And even then, she barely wanted to interact. 

The younger brunette thought about what would have happened if she could have helped her older sister. Loved her and comforted her more. Gus and Curtis always told her to just leave her alone, that space and time would make her better. She knew now that they were wrong. That she was obviously capable of love and happiness; the proof was in her daughter and Nicole. 

Nicole. Nicole was just another thing on her mind. She couldn’t shake off the indifference the redhead had for Wynonna’s flirting with other people. Waverly didn’t know if that meant that she had complete faith in Wynonna or something else entirely was going on. She didn’t understand their relationship at all. She didn’t understand why Nicole would be wearing a wedding band and yet the two of them weren’t married. She didn’t understand why they never hugged or kissed or held hands. And more than that, she didn’t understand the spark that seemed to light up in herself when she was near the redhead. 

Despite it being obvious that Wynonna was the best bowler, Nicole wasn’t bad either with a strong arm and healthy amount of competition. She was kind when Waverly didn’t do so well and didn’t get angry when Wynonna and Alice were so far in the lead that it became apparent that Nicole and Waverly couldn’t beat them. 

When another ball went into the gutter, the young brunette facepalmed and groaned, embarrassed that she wasn’t doing better. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Nicole tried to reassure her, giving her a smile that made Waverly feel less horrible about herself. “I was the same exact way when your evil sister made me play two years ago. I’m only this good because I’ve had practice over the years now. Your sister was kind enough then to laugh at me for about an hour and then taught me how to really bowl. Can I show you?” 

Nicole didn’t know what made her ask that. She guessed that it was the younger brunette’s embarrassment blushed red on her cheeks. Or the little sound that Waverly made when the ball inevitably made its way to the gutter (she never cursed like her older sister would). Or maybe it was because of the way her slightly lighter than chestnut hair graced her shoulder and back with a swoop that almost completely entranced her. No, she shook that last thought out of her head as Waverly nodded with uncertainty. No, she couldn’t go _there._

Waverly nodded a little tentatively, more excited than she thought she would ever be at the prospect of someone teaching her how to bowl. 

“Okay,” the redhead directed as firmly as she could when her whole body felt like jelly. “Okay, stand right here. Good.” 

Waverly attempted to not shudder when Nicole wrapped her body behind her, Nicole taking the brunette’s hands as she showed her how to walk and when to let go of the ball. 

“Do you see that?” Nicole asked her, trying to not breathe into her neck or ear or anything as sensual as that. At Waverly’s small nod, she moved away from her. “Good. Now pick up the ball and try it.” 

Wynonna and Alice watched with glee as Waverly finally knocked a few pins down. It was only three, but much better than zero. 

Everyone cheered and Waverly had the strange feeling to hug the stranger who was grinning just as much as she was. 

“Well, babygirl, as happy as I am for you to succeed, my baby and I did win so…” It took Wynonna only a few seconds for her to throw her fists up into the air. “Ha ha! We win, you lose!” 

Alice’s giggle and dance with her mother caused Nicole to lean close to Waverly and whisper, “Alice is a better winner and loser than her mother, thank God. I don’t wanna take all the credit, though.” 

“She’s a good kid,” Waverly agreed with a smile. “You and Wynonna have done a good job.” 

Nicole’s smile faltered. She didn’t want Waverly to get the wrong idea. “It’s all Wynonna. All your sister. I couldn’t imagine raising a daughter alone for years. Sure, she’s had me for about a year, but that’s nothing compared to what she’s done.” 

“I wish I was there for her,” Waverly said softly so that her sister couldn’t hear. “I hate that she had to do it all alone and didn’t think that she couldn’t… at the very least… call me.” 

Nicole shook her head and assured her, “Your sister is a lot of things, Waverly, but more than anything, she is a stubborn and strong woman. I know her well enough to know that she doesn’t need anyone.” 

“So that father…” 

The redhead looked down. That was a subject she knew that she couldn’t talk about. “Not in the picture.” 

Waverly wanted to ask more questions, but her sister approached her with an almost serious expression and asked, “Can you two take the kid home while I take care of something really quick?” 

“Of course,” Waverly told her immediately, even though her heart was beating rapidly at the idea of separating from her sister. “Of course. Where are you going?” 

Wynonna sighed. “It shouldn’t take me too long. I’ll be back home in a little bit, I promise.” She didn’t want to act all secretive, but she had her reasons. If things didn’t work out, she didn’t want anyone to know about her failed attempt. 

She left her shoes behind and waved at her family before leaving the bowling alley and heading to Shorty’s. She had been thinking about the bar for months, remembering her love for the establishment and the connection to her mother. It was the only place in her hometown where she knew she would always be welcome. But that was because of the owner, not the drunk assholes that were usually there. 

Her entire body felt warm when she entered. She looked around and breathed the familiarity in. The wood paneling, the clinking of glasses, the 8 balls rolling, and darts hitting their targets. For the first time since she had returned to Purgatory, she felt like she had made the right decision. She felt like she was home. 

“Wynonna?” 

She could have recognized that voice anywhere. She turned around swiftly and stared at the bartender. She froze, almost paralyzed, and felt the air escape her body completely, forcefully. 

She inhaled. Exhaled. Inhaled. Exhaled. 

“Doc.”


	5. settling in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wynonna talks with Doc, Waverly talks with Nicole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated! Look guys, I updated!

His hair was no longer in a bun, like it was when Wynonna was eighteen. It was shorter, though, barely touching his shoulders. He was wearing a hat now too. Almost a stetson, not the baseball cap that he would occasionally wear when he was about fifteen. Doc’s facial hair was less scraggly with his clearly defined mustache and goatee. The change in appearance was startling, but not surprising. Doc had always loved the cowboy mentality, so it wasn’t a huge jump for him to look like one. 

She immediately liked his appearance. His plaid shirt and jacket was more him than any hard rock band t-shirt he used to wear along with his ripped jeans with his knees sticking out awkwardly. He looked grown up. Attractive. Like he wasn’t the mess that he was when he was a teenager. Or maybe he was more of a mess. She couldn’t tell. 

Wynonna gulped and tried to speak, but no words came out other than his name. She didn’t know what to say. How to apologize. How to talk after years of silence. Luckily, he wasn’t as scared as her. 

“So the rumors are true. You’re back. Didn’t believe it.” 

She crossed her arms and slowly approached the bar as he poured whiskey into two glasses. He passed one of them to her and drank from the other one. 

“If it makes you feel better, I can barely believe that I’m here. I never thought I would come back. Actually, I never thought you would still be here either.” 

Doc shook his head and chuckled bitterly. “I didn’t think I would still be here either.” 

Wynonna bit her lip. “I’m here for good, actually. Well, at least I think for good. With my life though… nothing’s for sure.” She paused and then felt the need to suddenly explain to him why she left. Why she left without saying goodbye. “Doc….” 

“Don’t, Wynonna.” Doc finished his glass of whiskey. “You left. You always said that you would. I shouldn’t have been surprised.” 

“It was a dick move-” 

“I don’t want your apologies. You did what you did, can’t go back now.” 

Wynonna looked down at her untouched glass of whiskey with shame. He was completely right and she hated it. She hated herself. 

“I have a daughter,” she confessed in a voice so soft, she wouldn’t have been surprised if he didn’t hear her. But based on the look on his face (his wide eyes and gaping mouth), she knew that he did. “Her name’s Alice. And she’s my world. That’s why I’m here. I wanted her to have a home to grow up in.” 

“H-how old is she?” 

Based on the dread she could hear in his voice, she guessed that he was wondering if Alice was his. “She’s five. But anyway, my point is, it’s not just me anymore.”

Doc winced. “So now you have a reason to stay.” 

The brunette sighed. “I didn’t leave because you weren’t enough, Doc. I left because _I_ wasn’t enough. I didn’t belong here anymore. It was suffocating me, you know that.” 

She was right. He did. He knew how bad it was for her near the end before she left. It made him feel slightly guilty for having so much contempt for her over the years. 

“You haven’t even touched your drink.” 

Wynonna picked up the glass and swirled it around, staring at it. “Having a kid really changes things. My… friend and I are trying to drink less. She’s a lot better at being sober than I am, though.” 

“At least you’re trying,” Doc countered with a small smile. “That’s better than our parents.” 

She gave him a small nod. “Small victories, I guess. Hey, uh, where’s Shorty? Is he around?” 

Doc nodded. “He’s downstairs doing inventory. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind your company, though.” 

“Thanks, Doc.” She left him with a tight smile before heading down to the basement so that she could have the conversation she came for. She tried to not already replay the conversation she just had with Doc. She would have to do that later. 

When she hit the bottom of the stairs, Shorty’s eyes found hers along with a smile. He stood up from the barrel he was sitting on and gave her a giant bear hug. 

“Wynonna Earp. It’s good to have you back.” 

“I’ve missed you Shorty. You might be the only person who’s glad that I’m here.” It wasn’t a joke, but Wynonna chuckled lightly so that he didn’t notice how tense she was. 

“I’m positive that ain’t true, darlin’. You know what this town is like with sudden change. People went crazy enough when they tried to change the annual date of the autumn festival. You just gotta give people some time to get used to you being here. How long are you plannin’ on staying?” 

“For a while. For good, actually. Maybe not forever. At least probably until my daughter graduates.” 

Shorty’s eyes lit up. “Daughter, huh? That’s incredible, Wynonna. You should bring her around. I’d love to meet another Earp. They are my favorite people in this town.” 

Wynonna grinned. “She would love it here. I know I did when I was a kid. But listen, Shorty. I know it’s been a long time since you offered this, but--” 

“Wynonna,” Shorty interrupted with a serious frown. “You loved this bar more than anyone. When I told you that you could take it over when I retire, I said that thinkin’ you weren’t going to leave. But you did leave. And Doc needed the job. You know I’d love for you to take it over, but Doc has stayed. He’s made this place his. But if you two want to share it, hey, I would be happy to let you two both have it.” 

The brunette did her best to not try to show her disappointment. She thought that she was coming to Purgatory with a job lined up, but she couldn’t blame Shorty for choosing Doc. The idea of owning it with Doc was… confusing. When she was a lot younger, the idea would have made her more than happy. But now… she didn’t know how to feel. 

“I don’t know how Doc would feel about it.” 

“He’d come around, I think. He loved you, kid. You were his best friend. If you want, I can discuss it with him and let you know.” 

Wynonna nodded. “Thank you. That’d be helpful. I have to get home, Shorty, but if you need me, as a bar owner or a bartender, just call me.” 

“I will. You tell that sister and aunt of yours to come by for a drink. I haven’t seen either of them in a while.” 

“Of course. And I’ll bring Alice around. She’ll love you.” 

He chuckled and waved goodbye as Wynonna walked up the stairs back to the bar. She approached the bar to say goodbye to Doc, but he was busy with a customer. Instead, she waved and headed for the door. 

Before she left, she heard Doc call out, “he comes around sometimes. Dolls. He still comes around.”

* * *

“Do they have any escape rooms here?” Alice asked, holding Nicole’s hand as the two of them and Waverly walked back to the Homestead. 

Waverly furrowed her eyebrows. “There’s no place where you have to escape here. This is a fairly safe--” 

“No, no, no,” Nicole interrupted, chuckling with amusement. “Escape rooms are places where people pay to go to where they are locked in a room and have to solve clues to get out of. The three of us went pretty often in New York. Wynonna and I would normally fight throughout the whole thing, but we always got out of the room.” 

“Then we would eat pizza!” Alice cheered with her dimpled smile. “And dance in the apartment. Mama and Nic would fight over the music, though.” 

Waverly could picture it all. The dancing on hardwood floors, socks sliding against the ground to songs that her sister and friend would fight over. “Well, I don’t know about the escape rooms, but we can definitely have pizza and dance parties, Alice. What kind of music do you like?” 

Alice scrunched up her face as the thought about that question. “Well, I like mama’s rock, but Nic’s indie is good too. But I especially like the stuff they both like.” 

“Like what?” 

The five-year-old tapped her chin. “Like Destroy Boys, Paramore, boygenius, Queen…”

Waverly smiled. “You sound exactly like how I always imagined your mom was like when she was younger. Your mom was always playing music when we were growing up. When she got a stereo everything changed in our house. Velvet Revolver, Nirvana, and Pearl Jam was blasting through our walls at all hours. Gus and Curtis hated it, but I didn’t mind. I never have really liked silence.” 

Nicole could relate to that. Growing up in cities, she was used to city noise. For weeks, she couldn’t sleep when she went to college in the state of Washington. 

“This town’s pretty quiet.” 

“Yeah,” Waverly agreed, “but there’s always something going on. Small towns always seem boring to outsiders, but it… it’s very exposed here. Which is a good and bad thing. People will always be willing to help you out, but people also always know your business.” 

Nicole cringed. “That’s completely terrifying.” 

“It can be. But it’s also sort of refreshing living without secrets. And the people in this town… it makes it worth it.” 

“So I’m guessing that means you don’t ever want to leave this place, huh?” 

Waverly sighed. There were days when she felt like she had outgrown the small town and that she was missing out on possible opportunities. But most of the time, she loved her hometown. She loved its rich history and her job. She loved her family and couldn’t ever think about abandoning them. Not like her mom. Not like her sisters.

“Nope. This place is it for me. What about you? How are you liking it so far?” 

Nicole didn’t know how honest she could be around the brunette. Telling Wynonna was one thing, but telling Waverly seemed like a whole different ballpark. She couldn’t imagine ever letting her down. At least, not purposefully. 

“I’ll definitely need time to get used to this place. Earp did try to prepare me, but I don’t know if there’s any place quite like this one. Your sister… she really gave a lot of thought about coming here. But I think it was you that really convinced her to come back.” 

Waverly didn’t understand. “What do you mean?” 

“She missed you. And I think she hated herself for not introducing you two earlier. She wanted Alice to get to know her aunt and family, right, monkey?” 

Alice nodded vehemently. “Mama always told me stories about you. Sometimes she’d be really happy and other times she’d get really sad. She didn’t really like to talk about her mama and daddy though.” 

The brunette’s smile faltered. “No. I suppose she wouldn’t want to talk about them.” 

They were greeted by the strong scent of soup when they entered the homestead. It was a good distraction from what they were talking about. As much as Wynonna didn’t want to talk about her parents, Waverly wanted to know more about them. But her aunt and uncle didn’t really like to discuss them either. She felt like she was constantly out of the loop about her own family. 

“Where’s Wynonna?” Gus asked her niece as she noticed that not everyone came home together. She tried to not read into it. Tried to not imagine the worst case scenario.

“She had something to do, Gus,” Waverly answered as she leaned over the stove to look inside the pot. She noticed the strange look on her aunt’s face and she glared at her. “Have a little faith in her. She probably needed some time to herself. Or wanted to see Doc.” 

Gus hummed, agreeing with her. She could imagine that Wynonna would need to talk to him after how everything had ended. 

“You’re right. Poor Doc. It’ll be like a slap in the face.” 

Waverly rolled her eyes. “They’re adults, Gus. They’ll figure it out. Besides, can you imagine how thrilled he will be? I mean Doc… he really hasn’t--” She stopped talking when she realized that both Nicole and Alice were listening intensely to what she was saying. She didn’t feel like it would be appropriate to finish that statement. Not with Wynonna’s wife/partner/girlfriend and daughter around. That would be awkward. 

Nicole was definitely curious, but not because she was jealous. She had only heard about Doc yesterday and wanted to know what this guy was like. She wanted to know what kind of person Wynonna would be best friends with as a teenager. 

“Yes, well. We’ll see I guess. Either way, we should have him over for dinner again. We haven’t done that in such a long time. He was so good too when Curtis died. Bless his heart.” 

The redhead had almost forgotten about that. She remembered Wynonna finding out about her uncle passing away. It was gut-wrenching watching the brunette fall apart and mourn over someone she ran away from and would never see again. She knew that there was a lot of guilt there. And regret. 

“I’m sorry that we couldn’t come for the funeral,” Nicole apologized, not knowing how to say it gracefully. “Ear-- _Wynonna_ \--was really beaten up over the fact that we couldn’t come in time. Neither of us could get off of work and… well, that was about when we decided to move here.” 

Gus didn’t know how to reply to that. “I’m guessing it was quite a shock to find out that your partner wanted to move back to her hometown. I hope she didn’t force you.” 

“Oh, no,” Nicole replied right away, making sure that she didn’t leave the impression that she didn’t want to be in Purgatory. “We made the decision together. Truth is, I was ready to leave New York, too.” She was being honest. After everything that had happened and the fear of being caught, she knew that she couldn’t stay in the city. There were too many bad memories. 

“Well, it’s very kind of you to agree to come,” Gus murmured, slowly liking the redhead a little more. “If Curtis had told me that he wanted to leave Purgatory, I might have let him leave without me.” 

Waverly immediately shook her head. “That’s not true, Gus. You two would do anything for each other. That’s what people who love each other do.”

Nicole was about to say something when they all heard the front door open and close and Alice ran to go greet her mom. Wynonna, with Alice practically attached at her hip, entered the kitchen with one raised eyebrow. 

“It feels intense in here.” 

Gus rolled her eyes. “We were just talking to Nicole about how she was liking Purgatory, that’s all. What were you up to?” 

Wynonna leaned over the stove and stuck her finger in the pot to try the soup before admitting, “I went to go see Shorty. Remember how the original plan was for me to take over the bar? I think I’m going to do that. With Doc. If he agrees, of course.” 

Waverly and Gus shared a look of surprise and trepidation. They both adored Doc, but they knew how much Wynonna leaving destroyed him. And they knew how complicated their relationship was before she left. 

“Who’s Doc?” Alice asked her mom. 

“He’s…” There wasn’t an easy explanation that was the truth. “He was a very good friend of mine.” 

Alice grinned. Anyone who made her mom happy made her happy. “Ooh! Like Nic?” 

Wynonna looked at the redhead and bit her lip. Genuinely, her relationship with Doc was nothing like her relationship with Nicole. Earp had never slept with Haught. She also never had a somewhat romantic relationship with her. Nicole challenged her to be better, be more responsible. Doc was just as rebellious as her. He wasn’t a bad influence, but he wasn’t necessarily a good one either. 

“Well… sort of. You’ll get to meet him, kid. But you should go wash up for dinner first.” 

Alice nodded and ran off to the bathroom. Wynonna turned to her concerned sister and aunt and sighed. 

“I can work with Doc. It will be _fine."_

Waverly didn’t want to argue with her. Instead, she asked, “did you hear about Dolls?” 

Wynonna blinked. “What about Dolls?”


	6. a somber night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole and Wynonna have a talk and Waverly learns more about the mysterious redhead. Beginning of flashbacks in italics!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know what you think with a comment!

“We don’t see him around very often,” Waverly explained carefully, trying to choose the right words as to not upset her sister (or excite her, if that was even an option). “He left not too long after you did. He doesn’t live here or anything. He just… comes sometimes. With his partner, Jeremy.” 

Wynonna gaped at her, slightly. _"_ _Partner?"_

Waverly’s eyes widened when she realized her mistake. “Not romantic partner! They’re not gay! I mean, Jeremy’s gay and I’m not positive about Dolls since he never said anything, but they’re not… gay… together. Jeremy’s more of an assistant, you could say. They’re bounty hunters. And you know Purgatory. We seem to attract the worst people avoiding jail.” 

Wynonna nodded but felt the air knock out of her chest. It was ironic, really. Wynonna running from the law and Dolls being the law to find the runaways. Poetic, almost, if it didn’t make her feel so awful. Out of everyone, he was probably the person she should make the most amends with. 

“Do you know… do you know when he will be back in town next?” 

The younger sibling shook her head with sadness. “I’m sorry, Wynonna. I’m not quite sure. He comes and goes. He doesn’t normally… I don’t think he really wants to talk to any of us. Not with you… being gone and all.” 

Earp frowned. Dolls and Doc had been over at the homestead all the time when they were in high school. The two of them had gotten to know her sister and aunt and uncle. They were like… a family. She hated that he could interact with them anymore when she knew they were his family too. But she could understand why. She had left him at a time he probably needed him the most. 

“I could probably get his number, though,” Waverly told her sister to try to cheer her up. “Maybe I can go over to the station tomorrow and talk to Nedley about getting his info.” 

Wynonna wasn’t positive if she wanted to open that can of worms. Seeing Doc was hard enough. Seeing Dolls… seeing the damage she left behind… she didn’t know if she was prepared for that. 

“That’s nice of you, Waves, but that’s okay. He probably doesn’t want to hear from me. But maybe you can even take Haught with you to the station.” 

Nicole didn’t know how to quite feel about that. She did miss her job (or at least the part of the job where she could help people). Miserably. And she was aware that working in Purgatory would probably be less hectic than the city, but she didn’t know. She felt like she didn’t deserve the badge anymore. Not after what she and Wynonna did. 

Gus started ladling soup into bowls and said, “Nedley would be lucky to have someone like you. God bless our town. Nothing ever really happens in it besides the occasional fugitive and drug dealer.”

Wynonna couldn’t help but roll her eyes. She knew that her aunt was exaggerating and was trying to make the redhead feel better, but she knew that Gus knew that there was more crime in this town than just drugs. The Earp family had been affected by crime more than almost anyone in the town. 

“Soup!” Alice cheered as she returned to the kitchen with an excited grin, pulling almost all the adults out of their deep thoughts. 

“I swear, Gus, you’re gonna make the kid love you more than her own mother if you keep making food like this,” Wynonna joked as they all sat down at the table. 

“Are you still a terrible cook, Wynonna?” Gus asked her. 

The brunette nodded and mentioned as casually as she could, “when I took Haught in, I thought that meant we would get some home cooked meals, but alas. She’s just as a disaster as me in the kitchen.” She looked over at the redhead who was just staring at her bowl with an emptiness in her eyes. Wynonna knew that look. She immediately changed the subject and talked about Alice so that Haught could sit in peace. 

* * *

The night was a calm one. Alice had fallen asleep quickly, her arms around Nicole, recognizing the mood that the redhead was in and attempted to comfort her. Haught appreciated the young girl’s warmth, but the pain wasn’t lessening. Nevertheless, she held onto the five-year-old and ran her fingers through the brunette’s hair, trying to feel better by soothing someone else. 

Waverly watched the scene instead of focusing on the show she was watching with her sister. She couldn’t keep her eyes on the screen, as much as she tried. Instead, her eyes found the redhead, noticing that Nicole’s mood had shifted into the night. She wanted to cheer her up or at the very least, let her know that she was someone that Nicole could talk to. But she then shook her head. It was her sister who the redhead relied on. She knew that Nicole definitely didn’t need her. 

But then it happened faster than she could have ever imagined. She watched as Wynonna looked back at Nicole and furrowed her eyebrows slightly, like she was asking her a wordless question. Concern immediately flashed through the brunette’s eyes and less than a second later, the older sister scooped her daughter up and announced that she and Nicole were going to go tuck Alice into her bed and then go to sleep themselves. 

Gus didn’t notice the strangeness to it, but Waverly did. She didn’t say anything, though. Nothing besides a soft goodbye and gentle smile to her sister. She didn’t want to scare her sister away with any possible unwanted questions. 

* * *

Alice curled into the group of stuffed animals on the small bed and Wynonna sighed with relief. She hoped that her daughter was settling in. Of course, there was more that they had to do. The next thing they needed to do was enroll her into school. Alice was a fairly hard working kid, but making friends wasn’t the easiest for her since she moved around so frequently. 

“Are you going to tell your family about us being ‘just friends’ soon?” 

Wynonna turned to look at Nicole and whispered, “probably.” She knew that they should, that keeping her family in the dark was not cool, but she couldn’t get the words out as much as she tried. 

Nicole was giving her a look and Wynonna groaned. “What? Does it make me a terrible person for wanting my family to think that I’m… that I’m not a single parent? Is it horrible that I just want them to think I’m taken care of? That I’m responsible?” 

Haught sighed and stared at her best friend with a tinge of sadness. “You’re not terrible, but I don’t think you give them or yourself enough credit. They love you no matter what.” 

Wynonna shrugged and tried to shake out her stress by focusing on Nicole and her feelings. “Do you wanna talk about what’s going in that red head of yours?” 

Nicole bit her lip, trying to stop herself from crying. “You want to talk, Earp?” 

The brunette glared at her. “We met when I was in the fucking confession box at the precinct. The only reason why we’re friends is because we talked.” 

Haught couldn’t argue that. She took a deep breath and kept her eyes intently on Alice. “I miss her. Okay, Earp? I miss her. I know I shouldn’t…” 

“Who said you shouldn’t?” Wynonna asked her almost aggressively. “You’re allowed to miss her, Haught. You’re still grieving. You’ll be grieving for her forever. Just because we’re starting over doesn’t mean that pain goes away.” 

Haught forgot about that. She forgot how calming Earp could be. Sometimes she was the bane of her existence and sometimes… she was her sanity. Her reminder to keep going, to keep fighting, to keep surviving. 

Wynonna reached around her daughter for the redhead’s hand. “I know it feels like… like you breaking the law meant nothing. That it was pointless. And I hate that I made you… I know you’re partially here for me. So what I need you to do is do what you want here. Do you get what I’m saying?” 

Nicole shook her head. 

Earp sighed. “What I’m trying to say is, you’re a cop at heart. You enjoy helping people, god knows why. And if anyone’s gotta be a fucking cop, we’d be lucky if it was you.” 

Haught grinned. “Is that a compliment I hear, Earp?” 

Earp glared at her. “Fuck you, Haught. You didn’t hear a goddamn thing, okay? Now let’s go to bed and we can both hope that we dream about Tatiana Maslany.” 

Nicole rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help but chuckle. The mention of Orphan Black had almost become an inside joke between the two of them. It was just one of the first steps to their evolving friendship. 

._._.

_“Jesus, Earp. I don’t want to find out this shit about you. Just because we’re working together, reluctantly might I add, doesn’t mean that I want to hear about all the illegal shit you’ve done. I mean, who are you? Sarah Manning?”_

_The brunette raised an eyebrow. “Well, who the fuck do you think you are? You definitely aren’t cool enough to be Cosima, even if you are lesbian.”_

_Haught wanted to be angry, but she wasn’t. All of a sudden, the fury vanished from her body._

_“Ew, gross. Don’t look at me like that, Haught-fry.”_

_“Like what?”_

_“Like I’m someone you don’t hate with your entire being. It’s an ugly look for you.”_

_Haught smirked with satisfaction. She enjoyed annoying the criminal. It kept her mind off of worse things._

_._._._

“Are you sure?” Nicole asked, her voice low and full of uncertainty. 

“I just want you to be happy,” Wynonna told her simply with the shrug of her shoulders. “C’mon, Haught-dog, let’s go to bed.” 

She smiled at the ex-criminal, trying her hardest to be okay. For the sake of herself, Wynonna’s family, Wynonna, and Alice. Wynonna did have to let her come with. She could have left her in New York, alone full of grief. But she told her to come, allowed her to find herself in a new place, a new home. Wynonna and Alice were her only people left. And she’d do anything for them. 

* * *

Nicole woke up in Wynonna’s bed breathless. She curled her fingers around the sheets and gripped it tighter, trying to stop herself from making a loud enough sound to wake up the brunette next to her. She knew that Earp was used to waking up to Nicole’s nightmares, but she didn’t want to give her another reason to worry. 

She checked the clock and realized that it wasn’t anywhere close to an appropriate time to wake up. She groaned and sat up. There was no way she’d be able to fall asleep now. Not after that nightmare. Not after dreaming about _her._ She crawled out of bed, grabbed a book from her bag, and headed for the living room. 

There was a dim light in the center of the room when the redhead tiptoed into the living room. She was so quiet that Waverly didn’t seem to notice her presence. Instead of saying hello, like a normal person, Nicole watched the younger brunette with curiosity. It took her a few seconds to realize that the brunette was sketching something. 

“I don’t mean to startle or interrupt you,” Nicole whispered as she slowly approached the brunette who was under multiple blankets at the edge of the couch. Waverly jumped slightly but then sighed when she realized it was just the familiar redhead. “I’m just coming here for some reading.” 

Waverly grinned and placed her hand on the cushion next to her. “Please join me! I’m glad I’m not the only early bird in the house.” 

Nicole nodded, glad that she was welcome. “I’m a light sleeper.” 

“And I’m sure Wynonna’s snoring doesn’t help,” the brunette said and her heart soared with happiness as the redhead laughed. “Don’t worry, she’s always been like that. I am a super heavy sleeper, but I like getting up early. I like the quiet.” 

Nicole immediately frowned. “Oh, we don’t have to—”

“No, no!” Waverly tried to reassure her quickly. “Stay. I like the company _more,_ I promise. Besides, if you mean a lot to Wynonna, I should get to know you. Whatcha reading?” 

The redhead showed the younger woman the front cover. _"Th_ _e Catcher in the Rye._ It’s been my favorite book since I was a kid.” 

Waverly nodded in understanding. “Holden Caulfield is quite the intriguing fella. I enjoyed the book but hated reading it in school. Half my class thought that Holden was a phony and the rest didn’t care whatsoever. Then again, that’s this town for you.” 

Nicole chuckled. “I don’t think that it’s _just_ this town. I promise you, kids in Brooklyn don’t give a shit either.” 

The language reminded Waverly of her sister and it warmed her up slightly. Sure, there were people in Purgatory who cursed their asses off, but it wasn’t something that the brunette had lived around in many years. Gus didn’t curse much around Curtis, who didn’t like that sort of thing.

“Why do you like the book so much?” 

The redhead shrugged. “I guess because I get Holden. I understand his bitterness toward the world. I understand how tired he is. I don’t know. It’s a tragic book.” After Waverly hummed in agreement, Nicole asked her, “what are you drawing?” 

The brunette gulped. She rarely showed anyone her drawings. Not Gus, not Champ, not anyone. Not after Wynonna left. But there was something about the look in Nicole’s eyes that made her feel braver. She took a deep breath and showed the redhead the drawing pad in her hands. 

At first, Nicole couldn’t recognize the kids in the picture. But after a few blinks, the realization hit her square in the face. Three girls. Wynonna, Waverly, and the sister that Wynonna never talked about. 

“I don’t really remember it,” Waverly confessed as she noticed the redhead’s confusion. “I thought that drawing them… I thought it would bring back memories. Our mom left when I was five.” She flipped the page to show her a different drawing. 

Nicole didn’t recognize her, but she could see the similarities in the woman’s smile to Wynonna’s and Waverly’s. She wanted to say something, _anything,_ to make the other woman feel better, but she didn’t know what to say.

“I’ve always wanted to know… to remember what they were like. How our lives were like before everything went so wrong. I always thought that one day Wynonna would tell me. I never asked when we were younger. I didn’t want to upset her. But I think… I think she’s taking the pain that should have been mine and is carrying it with her.” 

“Your sister… she’s always been one to surrender herself for the sake of others. She takes it on like it’s her responsibility.” 

Waverly frowned a little bitterly. “It’s not her responsibility anymore. I’m an adult now. She should share her pain. Besides, I want to remember. I want to know the truth.” 

Wynonna hadn’t told Nicole everything. The brunette had always been vague about her past. She knew that her mom had left them when they were kids, that the oldest sister was missing, and that their father had died. She didn’t know the stories behind any of those things happening. She just knew that it was bad enough to screw the woman over for years. 

“Sometimes… sometimes it’s easier to not know. And I’m sure Wynonna has her reasons for keeping it all hidden. I know that isn’t fair to you. But from experience, sometimes all I would wish for in the world was to forget the shit.” 

Waverly wanted to ask the woman what shit was in her life. But more than that, she wanted to do anything she could to remove the shit out of the woman’s life. She hadn’t known the redhead for too long, but she knew that she didn’t deserve any shit in her life. 

But, instead of saying anything, she turned her attention back to her drawing and allowed her pencil to find the paper again as she tried to sketch the way her oldest sister smiled when she was happy. 

Nicole’s heart surged as she opened her book. She might not have been able to read any of the words on the page because of the sound of her racing heartbeat, but she enjoyed the peacefulness of the silence anyway.


	7. the hard conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wynonna and Nicole go off to get jobs. It's rough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter! The flashbacks are in italics! Please leave a comment and let me know whatcha thinking! 
> 
> Ooh, and come talk to me on twitter! I'm easiest to reach @incwynsita ! 
> 
> Sending love!

Wynonna groaned and tried to ignore the hand, but to no triumph. Alice continued to poke her until the young mother opened her eyes and threatened to tickle her if she didn’t quit it. 

“But I’m  _ hungry _ .” 

The brunette heard what her daughter had said, but her attention was more focused on the fact that the bed was empty besides her. Haught wasn’t in bed or in the room. A terrifying thought stumbled through her head and her heart started to pound with fear.  _ What if Haught had left _ ? 

“Hey, chicken, have you seen Nicole?” 

Alice nodded and jumped off the bed. “She’s in the living room with Auntie Waves. They are sleeping.”

Wynonna raised her eyebrows. She wasn’t surprised that the two of them would get along, but she wasn’t expecting them to be so friendly so quickly. She hadn’t seen Haught connect with anyone in a long time. But when she thought about it, it made sense. They were the two most kind people she had ever met in her life. 

“Did you wake them up?” 

Alice shook her head. “Nic never sleeps.” It was something she learned from the first time that Nicole had stayed with them. 

._._.

_ Alice’s eyes opened. A sound woke her up, but she wasn’t quite sure what it was. But since there was someone new staying at the apartment (which was strange since no one ever stayed over), she was curious to find out where the sound had originated from.  _

_ She tiptoed out of her extremely small (almost closet-sized) bedroom and found her way to the large room that consisted of the kitchen, the kitchen table, and a stain covered couch. The stranger (who wasn’t quite a stranger since she had met her a handful of times) was pacing around the couch, tears falling down her cheeks. She could tell that the woman was crying and almost walked over to comfort her, but she was held back by her mother who had also joined her.  _

_ “Shhh, baby. Nicole needs some space, okay? Go back to bed.”  _

_ Alice looked from the trembling redhead back to her mother and nodded. If her mother said so, she had to do it. Her mom always knew best.  _

_ The almost five-year-old trudged her way back to her tiny bedroom but stopped when she heard another sound. A sob, this time. She turned around and found the redhead collapsed into her mother’s arms. Her mom was holding her tightly, not letting her fall. Alice wasn’t surprised in the slightest. Her mom was a hero.  _

._._.

“How ‘bout we make ‘em some breakfast, yeah?” Wynonna suggested as she brushed her daughter’s messy hair behind her ears. “Surprise your Auntie Waves and Nicole?” 

Alice’s innocent smile almost faltered. It was rare for her mom to cook and there to  _ not  _ be a disaster. Truthfully, her and Nicole were not the best of cooks, but there were those rare occasions when the two of them tried to do something special for each other. 

“What breakfast?” 

Wynonna noticed her daughter’s apprehension and laughed. She ruffled Alice’s crazy hair and told her, “Just some eggs and toast. I don’t know if the vegan eggs in the fridge will taste any good, but… I will try to not burn the house down.” 

The brunette took her daughter’s hand and led her to the kitchen. She wanted to do  _ something  _ for her family. She felt bad for staying at their home and eating their food. And she wanted to convince everyone (specifically Gus) that she could do something adult. 

It was Alice’s job to put the bread into the toaster while her mom made the eggs. They were usually hit or miss in New York; Wynonna had a tendency to forget about the eggs and pay attention to something else until she smelled something burning. But this time, she kept her eyes only on the pan so that she wouldn’t make the same mistakes. Every move she made was calculated until the very last step when she placed the eggs onto the plates. 

“Holy shit.” 

Wynonna spun around to find Nicole staring at her with her hands on her hips, causing the brunette to glare at her. She wasn't surprised when Waverly joined them soon after. 

“Is Wynonna burning down the kitchen?” Waverly asked as she quickly approached them to inspect the potential catastrophe. 

“Hey! I have not burned down the kitchen! I made you breakfast. But if you don’t want to have it…” 

Waverly put her hands up in the air. “I want it, I want it.” 

“Alice, are you sure that you didn’t make this and your mama’s taking the credit?” Nicole asked as she smirked at Wynonna and hugged her best friend’s daughter. 

Wynonna glared at the redhead. “You don’t get any breakfast either, Haught-cross-buns.” 

“You’re a d—” Haught stopped herself as Wynonna grinned at her dramatically. “Can I  _ please  _ have some breakfast, you monster.” 

“What’s goin’ on in here?” Gus entered the kitchen looking a little bewildered. She hadn’t heard this much chaos in her house in a long time. 

“‘Nonna made breakfast,” Waverly announced to her aunt, her face a little pink from the excitement.  _ “And  _ she didn’t burn the house down.” 

“Hmm,” Gus muttered, not super convinced. “Can I have a plate, Wynonna?” 

“Yep,” Wynonna said, a little less enthused now that her aunt seemed uncertain. She started placing plates around the small table, feeling a little anxious about whether or not people would enjoy her food. She started to feel immediate regret.

She watched desperately as Waverly and Gus took bites of her food and was glad to see that neither of them gagged. Alice and Nicole were happily chatting and eating their breakfast, but all Wynonna could focus on were them. 

“Not bad, Wynonna,” Gus told her without even looking at her. “Better than when you were a teenager, that’s for sure.” 

“You’re not giving her enough credit, Gus,” Waverly muttered, grinning at Wynonna like it was Christmas or something. “It’s amazing, ‘Nonna. Seriously. Compared to when you were younger and—” 

“Total shit? Yeah, thanks, Waves,” Wynonna interrupted, smiling at her sister with more admiration than she thought she could have for a person (maybe other than Nicole). “I’ve had a lot more practice over the years. Isn’t that right, Ali?” 

Alice nodded vehemently as she ate her food, barely coming up for air. Nicole and Wynonna shared a look as they watched Alice eat happily. This was what they came to Purgatory for. 

“Gus,” Wynonna asked, still feeling a bit nervous about having to ask, “can you look after Alice when I go to Shorty’s and Nicole’s out at the station? I hate to ask but—” 

“It’s fine, Wynonna,” Gus told her a little strictly. “I hope Alice is willing to learn some rummy.” 

“Gus, she’s five.” 

Gus stared at her niece. “There is never too young of an age to learn cards, Wynonna.” 

The brunette knew not to disagree with her aunt. Gus wasn’t a particularly warm person, but she took care of her people. Wynonna trusted her aunt with her daughter, even though she was a little afraid that Gus would interrogate Alice about where they had been this whole time. 

“Fine, you’re right. Hey, chicken, wanna go shopping this week? You should be able to decorate your new room.” 

Alice nodded excitedly and asked, “what about school?” 

“Ah, right,” Wynonna replied, trying to keep a track of all the stuff she had to do in a list in her head. Haught would tell her to write it all down somewhere, but that just wasn’t how she rolled. “That’s definitely on my list, babygirl.” 

“And you, Nicole?” Gus asked her, causing the redhead to look a little shocked and out of place. “You’re going to the station to try to get a job, I presume as Wynonna said?” 

Nicole, not wanting to ruin a perfect chance to prove herself, nodded and explained, “I’ve always been a cop. And I don’t want to be mooching off of you all forever.” 

“Nedley’s a good man,” Gus told her with a slight nod of her head. “Good sheriff. Tell him I say hello.” 

“Nedley arrested me like four times,” Wynonna murmured under her breath so that no one but Haught could hear. She was fine with Nicole being a cop, but she wasn’t going to forget her hatred of cops. 

“I can still drive you to the station,” Waverly announced perkily to Nicole. “If you still would like my company.” 

Nicole wasn’t sure if Waverly had remembered that part. “I would love that. Only if you’re free, though. If you have your own work—” 

“The best thing about my job,” Waverly interrupted, a grin growing from her lips, “is that I can be my own boss. We can go after breakfast.” 

Wynonna was glad to see them get along so well. She knew how worried Nicole was about meeting her family and fitting in. Truthfully, Wynonna was sure that Nicole would fit in with the town better than her. She just wanted Nicole to realize it. 

“What’s it like being your own boss?” Haught asked Wynonna’s sister, who looked giddy at the question. 

Waverly looked up into Nicole’s brown eyes and smiled. She always felt weird about talking about herself, but the redhead looked interested and all she wanted for her to keep looking at her like that. So, she started talking about her job and was surprised to find not only Nicole listening, but her sister. She felt a surge of warmth that she hadn’t felt since her sister had left all those years ago. 

* * *

“Haught,” Wynonna whispered when she and Nicole were alone in her room after breakfast, both sitting on the bed like they were already exhausted. “Are you okay? I was worried when you weren’t in bed this morning.” 

Nicole, with dark circles under her eyes, didn’t want to tell her what was going on. Wynonna had already done so much for her, she didn’t want to place her emotional burdens on her, too. 

“It’s nothing, Earp.” 

The brunette narrowed her eyes at her, not believing her at all. “I know that’s not true.” 

Haught groaned and ran her fingers through her red hair. Wynonna ruffled her hair and joked, “you need a haircut, Haught-stuff.” 

Nicole let out a chuckle like Wynonna knew she would. “I know. It was a nightmare, okay?” 

“I figured,” Wynonna said as she continued to mess with her best friend’s hair. “You know you can always wake me up, right? I’m used to that shit. Being a mom and all.” 

Nicole tensed up. “You don’t need to mother me, Wynonna.” 

“That’s  _ not  _ what I meant.” 

“I know.” 

Wynonna sighed and tucked Nicole’s hair behind her ears. “I have nightmares all the time, too. I get it.”

Nicole felt a little nauseous because she knew  _ exactly  _ what Wynonna had nightmares about. It made her sick to her stomach to think about. 

“He’s gone, Wynonna.” 

“I know.” She kissed her forehead. “I’m just saying that I get it.” 

* * *

Doc looked up when she entered Shorty’s and for a second, Wynonna felt like she was seventeen again. She almost smirked at him and let out a clever quip, but he looked at her like he barely knew her and reality dawned on her. She wasn’t seventeen anymore and neither was he. Doc was practically a stranger, now, and she was practically a stranger to him. 

“Wynonna.” He tipped his hat in greeting and returned to cleaning a shot glass.

She walked up to the bar and sat down. “Did Shorty tell you?” 

He nodded and poured whiskey into the glass. “He did. I’m fine if you work here, Wynonna, if you’re really plannin’ on stayin’.” 

Wynonna couldn’t help feeling a little surprised. Part of her expected him to give her the cold shoulder (or more of a cold shoulder than he was giving) and tell her to leave. She deserved it, his anger. She knew she didn’t deserve his forgiveness or even a job working at the bar. But Doc was Doc. He might be more than a decade older than the last time she knew him, but he still acted like nothing truly affected him. He could shrug anything off if he wanted to. 

“Just like that?” 

He shook his head and smiled hard (like it was more of a grimace). “Don’t question it, Earp. This bar was yours before either of us were born.” 

Wynonna knew what he was alluding to. Her mother. She didn’t own the bar in any way, but she was beloved by the bar, by the people in the bar, by Shorty. It was her real home. A better home than the Homestead. Wynonna knew Shorty would have shared it with her if she had wanted it. If she hadn’t… 

“With that logic, it could have been Waverly’s.” 

Doc chuckled, though it didn’t seem very genuine. “Waverly runnin’ a bar? Now that’s a terrifyin’ thought. But it was always going to be you, Wynonna. It’s in your blood. Besides, we all know Shorty wants you around. And maybe I will, too.”

She smiled at him. She couldn’t help it. Doc knew her, or the younger Wynonna, better than almost anyone. He never shied away from any bad side of her. Together, they were always messy. Too similar, too broken, for their own good. 

“C’mon, Wynonna. Prove to me you still got what it takes.” 

She grinned. Now that was something she could do. 

* * *

“So, what’s the crime like in these parts?” Nicole asked her best friend’s sister as they drove to the station. 

“I’m guessing, though it’s just a hunch, that it’s very different than in New York. I mean, petty crimes and misdemeanors happen all the time. But it’s the kind of town baddies run to hide to, not from. But there are bounty hunters that usually take care of that. Enough for Nedley to need help, though he’d never admit it.” 

Nicole nodded, a little weary of the situation she was putting herself in. She was a lesbian female cop who came into town with Wynonna Earp. She wasn’t too sure that the sheriff would be very accepting. 

“Hey, it’s going to be okay,” Waverly reassured her once she noticed that Nicole looked a little pale. “Nedley’s a bit of a hardass, but he’s a good man.” 

Nicole didn’t feel much better. She had met a lot of supposedly ‘good men’ in her life that turned out to be the opposite. The last thing she wanted to do was cause any trouble or drama for the Earps with her presence. 

Waverly frowned once she realized she hadn’t really helped the situation. “Look, I get how you must be feeling. There must have been a layer of anonymity in New York that just isn’t here in Purgatory. But Nedley trusts me. I’m good friends with his daughter. I’ll put in a good word, okay?” 

She smiled gratefully at the younger Earp sibling. If Waverly wasn’t there, driving her and giving her a pep talk, she might not have gone through with it at all. Truth was, she and Wynonna had enough money to not need to work another day in their lives. But using that money when it wasn’t necessary was a risk they weren’t willing to take. And being a cop was all Nicole knew. Deep down, she knew there were no other options for her. 

“Thanks, Waverly. I know you barely know me, so this means a lot. Seriously.” 

Waverly smiled like it was no big deal and flushed. “You were there for my sister and niece. This is literally the least I could do. Besides, I know enough about you to know you’re a good person. You’re going to do great in there, I just know it. Are you ready, Nicole?” 

She looked out the window at the sheriff’s station and took a deep breath. It was now or never. 

“I’m ready, Waverly Earp.” 

* * *

One by one, they went over drinks so that Doc could be fully convinced that Wynonna was ready to bartend. She didn’t mind. She wanted to prove herself to him in any way she could. 

“So, whatcha been doin’ these past couple of years, Wynonna?” 

“This and that,” she responded vaguely, not really willing to tell him about all the shit she had to do to survive sometimes. “I did a lot of bartending and waitressing.” 

Doc nodded and looked down, seeming to be a little disappointed by that. “I always thought that you bein’ out there meant that you had found somethin’ better than  _ this.  _ It made things easier, I guess.” 

She didn’t want to tell him that had been her old hope, too. Instead, she went with a joke. It was easier. “You can take a girl outta Purgatory, but you can’t take the Purgatory outta the girl.” 

He smiled at that, just like she knew he would. “Apparently, they can’t even take me out of Purgatory.” 

“Why? You had such big dreams, Doc.” 

He shook his head and shrugged. “At one point, we shared the same dream.” 

._._.

_ “Vegas?”  _

_ Doc shrugged as Wynonna laughed and poked at him, obviously entertained by his confession. “Could be nice.”  _

_ “Better than here,” Wynonna agreed a little callously. “Anywhere is better than here. Even Vegas.”  _

_ He kissed her shoulder as if he knew exactly what she was saying. As if he understood her pain, what she was dealing with. As if he actually loved her, genuinely. The kind of love neither of their parents had for each other. The kind of love that wasn’t just sex and fun, but more. The hard kind of love.  _

_ “You pick, then,” he whispered between kisses up her neck. “Anywhere. I’ll follow you anywhere.”  _

_ “Arkansas?” she asked jokingly, trying to make things less heavy. Less intense. _

_ “Anywhere.” _

._._.

“I was a kid, Doc,” Wynonna confessed, not seeing a way out without telling at least some of the truth. “I know how shitty it was. I know. And believe me, I regret leaving like that.” 

He looked up into her eyes. “But you don’t regret leaving alone?” 

She maintained eye contact even though it was the hardest thing she had to do since she had been home. “I needed to find my own way. And it ended up with Alice. My daughter is worth all of the pain, so I don’t regret it.” 

He nodded, looking satisfied with that answer. “And when you left, it wasn’t because of me?” 

She hated that he thought that was an actual possibility. “John Henry Holliday, I’m pretty sure I stayed as long as I did because of you and Dolls. And Waverly.” 


	8. a morning and afternoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wynonna and Doc talk and so do Waverly and Nicole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm so excited to where this fic is heading. I've got some really fun stuff coming up! 
> 
> Thank you so much for continuing with this story and please leave a comment and let me know what you're thinking.

The precinct in Brooklyn was nothing like the petite wood paneling covered station in the heart of the town of Purgatory. She was used to bustling offices, open floor layout, constant noise, and the smell of cheap coffee. Cops, rookies, detectives, serjeants, lieutenants, a captain. Bureaucracy mixed with a pure hated for bureaucracy. Like it or not, it was always packed and alive. In the station in Purgatory, there were three people inside, excluding Waverly and Nicole. And for some reason, the quiet was much more terrifying. 

There was one guy sitting in a sort of cubicle, but he was just reading a romance novel. Waverly leaned over close to Nicole and told her he was Lonnie, the only poor soul who wanted and got a job at the station. The fact only one guy wanted the job freaked Nicole out, but Waverly just darted toward an office in the back. 

Waverly knocked on the door and opened it at the sound of a grunt and the words ‘come in’. 

The man, Sheriff Nedley, was neck deep in a case file when they entered the office (that Nicole quickly determined to be ‘annoyingly masculine’). He finally looked up and smiled gruffly. “Waverly Earp. What did I do to have the pleasure of your visit?” 

Waverly gave that charming smile of hers and explained, “Sheriff, this is my friend Nicole Haught. She’s new in town but used to—” 

“You came here with Wynonna Earp, then?” He asked and sat back in his chair, looking more and more agitated by the second. 

Nicole gulped. “Yes, Sir.” 

He scoffed at that and turned to Waverly. “You makin’ a citizen’s arrest, Waverly?” 

The brunette glared at him (Nicole didn’t even know she was capable of that) and sat down in one of the two chairs opposite to him. Nicole followed her lead, completely baffled by what Wynonna’s sister was planning. 

“What I was going to say, Nedley, was that Nicole was in the NYPD and thought she could be of use here, since you’re so desperate for the help. But if you’re too busy having a grudge on my sister for the stuff she pulled when she was a traumatized teenager, I think we should just leave. Right, Nicole?” 

The redhead was stunned by the obvious power play that reminded her so much of Wynonna it was insane, but she just nodded. It was rare for someone, a practical stranger, to help her like this. 

“Let’s go.” Waverly stood up and Nicole followed suit, leaving a completely startled sheriff behind. 

“Wait!” He shouted before they shut the door behind them. They turned around to find him sitting up, looking serious. “Nicole Haught, you said? Alright, I’ll call up the NYPD to make sure everything is all good. I’ll call you when I make my decision. You’re staying with the Earps?” 

“I am,” Nicole answered confidently, her heart thumping with genuine excitement. “Thank you for your time, Sir.” 

He just grunted in reply. 

On their way out, they quietly squealed. When they were out of the station, they were jumping for joy. 

“You were incredible in there!” Nicole shouted and hugged the brunette. “You absolutely saved my ass. Thank you.” 

“It’s really no problem,” Waverly reiterated as they pulled apart. “Like I said, I owe you. And I want you to stay in this town for as long as you can.” 

Nicole faltered a little. “Waverly, we’re staying. You don’t have to worry about that, okay?” 

Waverly didn’t look like she really believed her, but nodded anyway. “I’m just glad it’ll work out. Nedley is a grump, but you can’t let him push you around. Or at least, that’s what I learned from Wynonna. You two will work great together, though, I’m sure.” 

Nicole smiled at her appreciatively. “Well, I’ll be working with him all thanks to you. At the very least I can take you out to lunch. Where’s your favorite place to eat?” 

“It’s a bit of a drive,” Waverly responded with a sigh. “We can do it another—”

“Let’s do it,” Nicole shouted, wishing there was even more she could do for the woman. “Unless you have other plans.” 

Waverly quickly shook her head. “Nope. My day is yours, Nicole Haught.”

For some reason, those words sent shivers down her spine. The idea of spending the entire day with Waverly Earp was so intoxicating, it was a little terrifying. In a good or bad way, she wasn’t sure yet. She just knew she liked being around her. 

“Perfect! Let’s hit it!” 

When they got in the car, Waverly turned to her and asked, “Has anyone told you that you smell like vanilla dipped donuts?” 

“No,” Nicole breathed out, unable to stop smiling (and shaking). “You’re the first.” 

* * *

Being around Doc felt like being around a ghost. He was a constant reminder of her past, all the shit she had done to all the people that she loved. Wynonna didn’t like all the things she had done in the past, the way she hurt people and herself. Doc, though their relationship was turbulent sometimes, had always been there for her. Stood beside her when almost everyone else had left. A huge part of her loved him when she was younger but didn’t feel deserving of his love. 

“Please tell me you’re willing to tidy up the place as well,” Doc joked, allowing the tension between them to subside. 

“Ick, no. You don’t do that?” 

Doc shook his head. “Shorty pays some poor schmuck to do it.” 

“Well, just because I’m a mom does not mean I suddenly enjoy cleaning. Usually, I just make messes  _ with  _ Alice until the filth gets too much and I have to clean or else I’d suffocate in the filth.” 

Doc snorted. “That sounds like you. But the lady you’ve come into town with, she doesn’t do that kind of thing?” He was staring at her, obviously trying to subtly ask ‘who the fuck is this girl I’ve heard nothing about’. 

Wynonna rolled her eyes, annoyed that she had to explain to another person who Nicole was when it had gone poorly every single time. 

“Well, I’ll start off with this: she’s not my wife, though everyone—including my family—thinks she is, and she’s not my girlfriend. We’re not together romantically at all.” 

He just stared at her until he let out a chuckle. “You know that doesn’t really narrow it down. So, you’re not together. That’s all I’ve gathered.” 

“Right,” Wynonna agreed with a head nod. “But we’re a package deal, lord knows why, she’s the bane of my existence.” 

“Ah,” Doc sighed and poured himself and a customer a drink, “I think what you’re meaning to say is that she’s your best friend.” 

Wynonna scoffed. “I guess.” 

“So you aren’t seeing anyone?” 

She gulped. She was afraid of going down this road. She wanted to work with him, not ‘see’ him. She was not ready for that kind of thing again. She wasn’t ready for that with anyone, well, ever. 

“I don’t date,” she answered flatly, hoping to send the right message. 

He nodded like he understood. “I get it. I was married.” 

Wynonna gasped (she couldn’t help it).  _ “You what?”  _

Doc grinned at her sheepishly. “I know. So unlike me. She was… perfect. I mean, everything I should have wanted. Kate’s the most interesting, smart, beautiful person I’ve ever met. I loved her… so much.” 

Wynonna bit her lip. It was weird hearing those kinds of words come out of his mouth, even if she was completely (and undeniably) over him. 

“So, what happened?” 

He shrugged sadly. “We were young and she had so many ambitions. I felt like I was holding her back. It became obvious she only stayed in Purgatory for me so I had to let her go.” 

“Why didn’t you go with her?” 

Doc sighed, “because I thought she could do better than me.” 

Wynonna frowned. Sometimes being around Doc sucked. She always saw herself in him. Most of that made it easier to be around him (he never thought she was beneath him or that he was above her), but it occasionally hurt. It was like staring into a reflection. 

* * *

It was a vegan place out of town. Nicole knew she should have expected it (vegan was ‘part of Waverly’s personality’ as Gus said) but it still caught her a little off-guard. She was so used to going to cheap joints with Wynonna that she hadn’t been to a place like this since she was married. 

“Is this okay?” Waverly asked before they got out of the car. “I know some people really hate—”

“I’m good with whatever you want, Waverly. I’m not very picky. Besides, if you like it, I’m sure I will.” 

The brunette blushed slightly and Nicole realized that she was flirting. Genuinely (though accidentally) flirting. Which she hadn’t done in years. It left a strange taste in her mouth. Like it sort of burned. It felt so… good, yet awful at the same time. She never thought she’d be flirting this soon—with Wynonna’s innocent sister, no less. She wanted to bang her head on the window. 

When Waverly entered the small business establishment, the staff smiled and waved at her, knowing her by name. Despite her horror in the car a few moments ago, she smiled. Being around Waverly had that effect. 

“Your usual, Waverly?” A woman from behind the counter asked cheerfully. 

“That would be perfect, Shelby.” 

“And you?” the woman asked, turning to Nicole. 

She blanked. She spent all of her time so focused on Waverly since she entered that she had no idea what was on the small menu above the woman’s head. As to try to not seem stupid, Nicole told her she’d have the same thing as Waverly. 

“You have no idea what my usual is!” Waverly protested, obviously shocked. 

Nicole shrugged and tried to play it off like she was brave and adventurous rather than the truth where she was just stupid. “What can I say, I trust your taste.” 

Waverly grinned at her and again Nicole realized what she was doing. Part of it just felt so natural. Just as natural as the banter she had with Wynonna. 

“Well, I hope you like spicy food. It’ll knock your socks off,” Waverly joked as she led Nicole to a table in the back. 

“I like spicy food,” Nicole replied earnestly, “because of all the hot wings your sister forced me to eat. Her eating has made my stomach indestructible.” 

Waverly shook her head, very amused. “I cannot begin to tell you how bad that is. I can’t believe Wynonna pulled you into her bad habits.” 

Nicole shrugged. “Bad habits are easy to form in New York. But maybe now I’m here, I can change that. And add five years back onto my life.” 

The brunette nodded approvingly. “Well, this is a good first step towards recovery. Though I did think I heard something about you and Wynonna not drinking anymore. Can I thank you for that?” 

Nicole winced a little, knowing they were headed into territory she didn’t want to talk about and knew Wynonna didn’t want Waverly to know. 

“Eh. More of a decision we both made. Not that your sister was a heavy drinker in any way. She would never with Alice.” 

Waverly nodded, still trying to get used to understanding the difference between the teenage Wynonna she knew, the Wynonna that she thought she would be, and the Wynonna that she really is. Now. In the present. She loved teenage Wynonna (despite all the shit she pulled) and barely knew the current Wynonna.  _ Mom  _ Wynonna. 

“You look deep into thought,” Nicole said gently, noticing Waverly stare at the table. 

Waverly blushed a little before admitting, “when I was a kid, I always thought Wynonna’d come back home and be my big sister again. But when I got older… I thought she was permanently gone. I hate it, but I got used to it. Her being gone. And… crap. I’m oversharing.” 

“No!” Nicole reassured her. “No, please continue! You seem like you really need to get this out.” 

Waverly frowned. “I know, but you and ‘Nonna, I don’t want to put you in a bad place.” 

“Listen,” Nicole sighed and tried to smile at her comfortingly, afraid to get involved with something she shouldn’t. “I don’t want to speak for Wynonna, but she knows that what she did was fucked up. She knows that she did things wrong. If you told her this, she'd probably understand. How she left, I don’t think she even thought she could go back. But Waverly, I don’t think she thinks you’ll just forgive her and go back to how things were. I think she just wants to get to know you, now. And she wants you to know who she currently is. Because she’s much more proud of who she is now than who she was.” 

Waverly was staring at Nicole with such great emotion that Nicole couldn’t tell what it was. At first, she thought it was anger. She almost thought Waverly was going to stand up and leave until she began to nod and stir the water with the reusable straw she brought from home. 

“I just… don’t know how I feel or how I  _ should  _ feel about everything. She’s home, which I never thought would happen, with a niece I love. I should be overjoyed. But there’s a part of me that’s still angry and I feel guilty about that.” 

“Well, don’t,” Nicole told her genuinely and reached out to hold her hand, but stopped herself, knowing that was probably going too far. “I know that’s easy enough for me to say, but seriously. She understands your anger. And she would tell you not to feel guilty for how you’re feeling. At least, that’s what she always tells me.” 

Waverly smiled softly at those last few words. “I’m glad you guys are there for each other and that she has someone who obviously understands her as well as you do. Finding that person is hard.” 

Nicole squirmed in her chair (uncomfortable that Waverly had no idea that she had no romantic feelings toward her sister). “What about your boyfriend? Champ? You guys have been together forever.” 

She expected Waverly to look happy at the mention of him, but she just looked sadder. “I don’t know if time really matters when it comes to that. Sometimes I think you can just meet a person and… get them. Like completely get them.” 

The redhead stared into the brunette’s eyes, trying not to overthink her words (she was always good at doing that with people). When she and Wynonna first met, it wasn’t complete understanding. If anything, it was complete confusion. But with Waverly, understanding her was just… simple. 

But at this point, Nicole felt like leading her to believe she was with Wynonna romantically just seemed cruel. She understood Wynonna’s feelings, but it just felt like lying or pretending and she hated to do that. Especially with someone like Waverly, who had only been kind and vulnerable around her. 

“Your sister and I—though we are close in a sort of non-traditional sense—are not a couple. It’s something we should have told you from the start, but when we tried, Gus, well... you were there.” She watched in horror as Waverly gaped at her, her jaw physically dropped.

“Oh.” Waverly didn’t know what else to say, how else to respond. She met Nicole thinking she was Wynonna’s  _ something.  _ Now, she didn’t know what to see her as. It was like she was in a completely different light. 

“I know,” Nicole muttered, feeling completely embarrassed and uncomfortable. “We—well Wynonna—didn’t mean any harm. I mean, everything else is accurate. We lived together in New York and I do what I can with Alice and—” 

“What about your ring?” 

Nicole looked down at her wedding band, feeling herself surge with emotions she thought she had long buried. She was once married, but now, she was told she wasn’t married. It was hard for her to grapple with that fact. Wynonna was the only one who didn’t argue with her when she said she was still married, even if her wife had died. 

She didn’t like to talk about it, even to Wynonna who was there for her when her wife died. Who wanted to help save her wife’s life (even though in the end, neither of them could). And because of it, they wanted to leave New York, get away from the possibility of getting caught, though Nicole knew Wynonna was right—it was very unlikely. 

“I don’t…” she couldn’t say it. 

Waverly was staring at her, realizing from the look on the redhead’s face that she had overstepped somehow. That she had gone in a direction she shouldn’t have. A direction that was now obviously painful for her. And the last thing Waverly wanted to do was have Nicole be in pain. 

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” 

Nicole shook her head. “No, you want to know the truth. You deserve to know the—” 

“Hey,” Waverly whispered gently, grabbing Nicole’s hand from across the table. “In your own time, okay? I would never make you tell me anything that you’re uncomfortable with—or can’t—tell. But if you want to tell me,” her face softened, “in your  _ own  _ time, one day, I’m all ears.” 

Nicole exhaled, finally able to breathe again. No one had ever made her feel so calm in the last two years. No one had made her feel so heard and understood and warm. 

“Okay,” Nicole nodded, a small smile creeping back onto her face. “Thank you, Waverly. I mean it. But can you tell me about yourself? Can you tell me about the archives?” 

Waverly lit up, looking almost angelic in the natural light. She started to talk about her job like no one had ever asked her before, with such enthusiasm that Nicole hoped Waverly could talk to her forever. 


	9. new friends and old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a little late, y'all! I've been really obsessed with Wynsita recently and went on a wynsita writing rampage. I'm not even joking. Go read that if you want! 
> 
> Or come talk to me about this fic on twitter @incwynsita
> 
> it's a good time! :)

It was starting to get more crowded when the doors flew open and Wynonna could hear: “Mama!” Her eyes flashed from the almost drunk customer to her five-year-old who was flying to her at top speed, Gus lingering behind. At first, Wynonna was too happy to see her smiling daughter to be annoyed that Gus brought her to a bar full of drunk assholes. 

“Hi, babygirl!” Wynonna cheered and wrapped her arms around her little girl. “How are you? Did you have a good day with Gus?” 

Alice nodded rapidly. “But it’s time for dinner, Mama!” 

Guilt smacked Wynonna in the face. Usually bartending entailed staying late hours. She’d have to miss a lot of dinners. And Gus brought Alice here to… remind her of that fact. It was harsh. 

“Go home, Wynonna.” 

She turned around to find Doc staring at them, full of empathy. It made her heart swell and reminded her of the kind of man Doc Holliday was. The Doc Holliday she loved. 

“Doc…” 

“Go home. I got this. You work during the day, I work at night. It’s fine. Go home.” He said it with a shrug like it was so incredibly simple, even though Wynonna knew it wasn’t. That no one else could ever get away with that. 

She smiled at him. Really and truly smiled at him. “I’ll make the whole place spotless tomorrow.” 

He just tilted his hat. She knew that he knew exactly what she meant by that. Wynonna moved to the side so that he could look at her daughter, her everything. Doc’s eyes widened. 

“Doc, this is Alice. Alice, baby, this is my very good friend, Doc Holliday.” 

He smiled and crouched down so that he could shake her hand. She giggled when he winked at her. 

“I like your mustache, Doc.” 

He tipped his hat at her again. “Thank you, little miss. You look just like your mama, do you know that?” 

Alice nodded, her eyes filled with wonder and delight. “That’s what everyone says.” 

“Well,” he said so softly it seemed almost un-Doc-like, “I’m so glad I finally get to meet you, darlin’. You’re always welcome here, okay?” 

Alice nodded again and Wynonna smiled at him, reminded of when Shorty had told her the same thing when she had come to the bar with her own mom all those years ago. And in some ways, it hurt. She remembered wishing Shorty was her father at that moment and for the briefest of seconds, she wished Doc was Alice’s father. She shook that thought right out of her head, knowing it’d just lead to disaster or heartbreak. 

“I’m going to introduce her to Shorty,” Wynonna declared, purposefully ruining the moment. “Thanks for everything, Doc.” 

He stood up and smiled at her sadly before she dragged her five-year-old away from the chaos that felt like was unfolding in her mind. She had to get away before she started to feel more. Remember more. She was heading into dangerous territory already and pulled the break. This wasn’t what she came for. She had to remind herself of that.

Shorty was in the basement, managing the stored alcohol, trying to make sure his records were right. Wynonna could remember him doing the same thing when she was younger. 

He looked up at the mother and daughter and grinned. “Well, I’ll be damned. Another wonderful Earp.” 

Wynonna laughed as she and Alice approached him (though she noticed her daughter was more weary of the older man). “Shorty, this is Alice. Alice, this is the man who kept me outta trouble when I was younger. He and  _ my  _ mama were best friends.” 

Shorty reached out and Alice reluctantly shook his hand. “Hi, darlin’. It’s very nice to meet you. Purgatory is a strange place, but you got a whole lot of people in this town who care for you.” 

Wynonna didn’t really know if that message was only aimed at Alice or the both of them, but either way, she believed him. When she lived in Purgatory all those years ago, she wouldn’t have believed him. But strangely enough, it all started to feel like home again. 

* * *

Sometimes, Nicole had no idea what Waverly was talking about, but she said whatever she was talking about with such passion—such rigor—that all she could do was smile and nod. She talked about her job like it was an adventure. Nicole was never a big fan of history or anthropology, but with Waverly describing it, the subjects sounded invigorating and mesmerizing. 

“And I’m really fascinated by my own family history! I’ve been doing so much research!” 

Nicole nodded, trying her hardest to keep up and drive her home at the same time (after spending hours at one restaurant). “Wyatt Earp, right?” 

“Right!” Waverly exclaimed happily. “But he’s not the  _ only  _ interesting Earp. So many Earps in our family have done so much for this town and community. And so many of the lady Earps are incredible.” 

“You should tell your sister. When we lived in New York, she had a corkboard in Alice’s room and we’d put pictures of powerful women on there. We should keep that going.” 

Nicole thought Waverly would go crazy over that, but she only gave her a small smile, like something she said made her sad. 

“I would, but Wynonna… when we were younger, the last thing she wanted to do was talk about family. Any family.” 

The redhead winced, immediately understanding why that was the case. She didn’t know much about Wynonna’s past in Purgatory, but she knew that it involved a missing mother and sister and a dead father. She wasn’t surprised that Wynonna didn’t want to talk about them. 

“You can always ask,” Nicole suggested, shrugging. “She might want to know. You never know.” 

“Speaking of never knowing,” Waverly said, obviously trying very hard to change the topic. “I never would have guessed you and my sister weren’t a couple. How’d you guys get so close? My sister—a criminal—and you—a cop?” 

Nicole felt a lump in the back of her throat. She remembered meeting Wynonna and assuming she was a terrible person like all the other criminals she had been told to hate. She had bought into the cop mentality about the hierarchy of lives in Brooklyn. Strippers and prostitutes weren’t seen as human as others. Nicole hated herself for thinking that way about anyone—especially when she didn’t know them. She hated that she thought that way about Wynonna. 

She gulped and replied as honestly as she could without having to tell the  _ whole  _ truth. “Wynonna was there for me when no one else was. And I think because of it, she saw beyond the badge and I saw beyond the record.” 

Waverly seemed to swoon at her words. “I know I’ve already said this, but I’m so glad you found each other. You’ve obviously been a very good influence for her.” 

Bile rose up in her throat. Waverly was more wrong than she could ever realize. The last crime Wynonna committed was  _ for  _ Nicole. If anything, she had been a bad influence on Wynonna, not the other way around. 

But she couldn’t tell her that. She couldn’t tell her why they really started to talk about leaving New York or how they met or how they bonded for life. She  _ wanted  _ to. For two years she wanted to keep it all inside, pretend like it didn’t happen, but here, right now with Waverly, she wanted to open up. Reveal her demons, the crimes she committed that kept her up at night. The only problem was Wynonna. 

That wasn’t quite true, Wynonna wasn’t the  _ only  _ problem (there were a lot of problems about telling a practical stranger her life story), but it was a secret she shared with Wynonna. And the last thing Nicole would do was betray that trust. 

“Wynonna has made me a better person, too,” was all that Nicole could say that was the truth. Wynonna made her realize a lot of things about life. Made her realize the lies that cops spewed in the name of ‘justice’. She made her more empathetic, more understanding, more human when the last thing she wanted to be at the time was human. 

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Waverly declared as Nicole pulled up to the homestead, hundreds of emotions boiling up inside of her all at once. “I mean,” she laughed and pushed her hair behind her ear, “I’m glad Wynonna has you, but I’m also glad to hang out with you. You’re not really like anyone I’ve met before.” 

Nicole’s breathing hitched. Waverly was objectively goddess level beautiful (like her sister), but Nicole looked at her and  _ felt  _ things she hadn’t felt in a long time. She looked at her and felt  _ seen.  _ Felt  _ special.  _ It would feel  _ good  _ if it didn’t feel so terrifying. So incredibly soon. Too soon. It felt wrong, Nicole felt wrong. 

“Oh,” she let out nervous laughter, “I’m a city girl. And American.” 

Waverly let out a soft chuckle like she thought Nicole was hilarious (Nicole winced because god, her laugh was infectious and warm). “I don’t mean just that, silly. You just… care. More than anyone I’ve met.” 

Nicole’s heart beat faster and the proximity of them in the car dawned on her. She felt hot. Uncomfortably suffocated. She tried to keep her eyes out in front, no where close to Wynonna’s little sister. 

“Thanks, Waverly. Hey, should we get inside? Looks like Wynonna’s back.” Before giving Waverly a chance to say anything, Nicole got out of the vehicle, wanting to run as far away as possible. 

Waverly didn’t seem to notice. Acting like everything was particularly normal (like they didn’t just share a moment), she entered the homestead with Nicole on her heels, searching for her family. 

And then it hit her.

Nicole realized that Waverly was just being friendly. Nice. Kinder than what she had been used to. Of course. Waverly had a boyfriend. A long term boyfriend. And Nicole was Nicole. She realized she must have been reading into things that weren’t there, because Nicole knew there was no way that a woman like Waverly Earp could see something in a woman like her. 

The redhead let out a breath of relief as she and Waverly found Wynonna reading to Alice in the living room. She was glad that she had read into something that wasn’t happening. And even if Nicole felt something, that didn’t mean anything if it was reciprocated. Nicole could breathe. Everything was fine. 

* * *

Gus acted weird on the ride home from the bar. Wynonna would have mentioned something about it if Alice wasn’t also in the car, humming along to the music happily, even if it was Gus’ music that she had never heard before. She wasn’t really saying anything, which was the scary part. She could handle Gus’ yelling and passive aggressive comments, but not the silence. Somehow the silence was much more frightening. 

The second they got home, Gus dragged her into the kitchen as Alice went off into the living room. Wynonna knew what was coming was bad. Gus was giving her the same look as when she told her that she couldn’t take care of her anymore and was sending her to a foster home. 

“What’s up, Gus?” 

The older woman sighed and shook her head. “I’m glad you have a job, Wynonna, I am, but I don’t want you to think I can just be Alice’s babysitter. And if that’s why you’re here, I don’t—” 

“Woah,” Wynonna interrupted, not knowing where all of this was suddenly coming from. “I’m not here for you to babysit Alice. I just needed the day to figure out my job situation. I’ve got to get her into school and get Haught’s schedule and—is that really why you think I’m here? For free child care?” 

“I don’t know why you’re here. You hated this place, Wynonna. Why would you come back here? After all this time?” 

“Because of Waverly!” Wynonna shouted back at her, telling her the only part of the truth that she could. Gus looked taken aback. “Having Alice made me realize how much I fucked up with my baby sister. And you know what, I needed family. Not for me, but for the sake of Alice. I wanted my little girl to grow up with her aunt.” 

Gus chewed her bottom lip, the anger still in her eyes. “You  _ left  _ that little girl, Wynonna. You  _ left  _ her.” 

“I know,” she breathed out, unable to express how that fact had always been a part of her, tortured her. “But I’m  _ back  _ now.” 

Gus just sighed again and crossed her arms. “I just don’t know if I can trust that you’re here for good.” Before giving Wynonna the chance to explain herself further, she walked away, ending the conversation right there, allowing all the thoughts of possible regret to re-enter Wynonna’s mind. 

Teenage Wynonna would have screamed and ran to her bedroom, sneaking out of her window as fast as she humanly could. She would have tried to find Doc, but wouldn’t have told him what was going on. Wouldn’t have let him comfort her. She would have ripped his clothes off and asked for a distraction. That, or she would have gotten drunk in the barn. 

Adult Wynonna took another deep breath and returned to the living room, fuming with Gus’ usual lack of support, only to find her daughter reading a book. She tried to smile, tried to remember that coming to Purgatory meant giving her daughter a happy and normal childhood. All she ever wanted was for Alice to have the childhood that Wynonna couldn’t have, and that wasn’t happening in New York. 

Alice looked up at her mom and smiled when Wynonna sat on the couch with her. The five-year-old immediately rested her head on Wynonna’s lap. Instinctively, the mom began to brush her fingers through her daughter’s hair, remembering her own mother doing it for her when she was younger. 

._._.

_ Wynonna’s mama was humming gently as she braided her hair, her hands only shaking slightly as she continued the rhythmic motions.  _

_ “Mama?”  _

_ “Hmm?”  _

_ “Why doesn’t daddy like Waverly?” Wynonna had been wondering about it for a while, ever since her little sister was born. She didn’t know why he refused to hold her, to touch her, why he became so much meaner.  _

_ Mama stopped braiding her hair for only a brief second before she continued. “Your daddy, he has a lot on his mind. Don’t question what he does, baby. You hear me, Wynonna? You keep your head down ‘round here.”  _

_ Wynonna nodded and stared into her mother’s deep brown eyes and wanted to get rid of the sadness in them. “Yes, Mama.”  _

._._.

Wynonna tried to shake the memory out of her head and asked her daughter what she was reading. 

_ “Charlotte’s Web.  _ But I can’t—it’s too—” 

“I’ll read it out loud for you, babygirl.” 

Wynonna loved reading as a young girl, but life had gotten in the way. Having a kid made her rediscover what she had loved about reading: losing herself in stories and adventures. 

When the front door opened less than an hour later, she was just glad that she didn’t have to be alone in the same house as Gus. Just seeing Nicole calmed her down. Centered her. 

“Nic!” Alice cheered and got up from Wynonna’s lap and leaped to the redhead, who was opening her arms for the five-year-old. It warmed Wynonna’s heart. She always hated that Alice’s one person was herself, but with Nicole around, it was as if she had two. 

Waverly, on the other hand, was looking at her kind of strangely. Warning bells went off in her head. She wouldn’t be surprised if her sister realized Wynonna’s presence was an unwelcoming one. She knew Waverly had every right to be as angry as she wanted (or needed) to be. 

“Hey, Wynonna?” Waverly finally asked (Wynonna saw it coming), “can I talk to you outside?” 

“Of course, babygirl,” Wynonna replied anxiously as she tried to flash Nicole and Alice a smile on her way out. She didn’t want them to know that this might be it. Gus wanted her gone already, if Waverly did too… 

The air was cold, but Wynonna’s attention was purely on her sister, who seemed equally nervous. 

“Listen, ‘Nonna,” she began as Wynonna took a deep breath, ready for the bad news. “Nicole told me that you two aren’t actually together. As a couple.” 

Wynonna exhaled, though the relief didn’t last long. She was not expecting this, but all of a sudden it felt just as terrifying. 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah,” Waverly said and sat on the steps, urging Wynonna to follow with pats on the empty spot beside her. “I wish you would’ve told me sooner. I kinda… acted like an idiot.” 

Wynonna sat down (though her anxiety levels made her want to continue to stand), a little lost for words. She didn’t have any good excuses and she didn’t really want to make any up. “I’m sorry, Waves. I  _ should  _ have told you sooner. It was stupid of me to not tell you.” 

“Well,” Waverly sighed and nudged Wynonna in the shoulder, “can you tell me why?” 

Wynonna shrugged, not wanting to admit the tragic truth that she was completely embarrassed by. Telling Nicole was one thing. Telling her sister… 

“I don’t know, babygirl.” 

“Is it because,” Waverly paused and took a deep breath, “you want to be with Nicole?” 

She flinched and shouted that she wasn’t before she could really think it all through, realizing that she had to tell her sister the truth to convince her that her feelings toward Haught were purely platonic. 

“We’ve had many chances for it to become romantic, but no. Neither of us want a relationship with each other or anyone else.” 

Waverly frowned slightly at that, though Wynonna didn’t quite get why. “I’m lost, ‘Nonna. It’s been days. You could have told us—told  _ me— _ anytime. What’s with all the secrecy?” 

“Because,” Wynonna sighed, hating that it had come to this, that she had let it come to this, “it was easier for me to say I was with Nicole than to admit I’m a single mom.” 

“Oh.” Waverly gaped at her slightly, looking as equally lost for words. 

Wynonna placed her head in her hands, groaning. This was exactly what she wanted to avoid. It was bad enough with her baby sister. She knew the reaction was going to be way worse with her aunt. 

“See, this is what I didn’t want. Your pity.” 

Waverly frowned and wrapped her arm around Wynonna’s shoulder. “No, no, no. I feel sad that you didn’t want to tell me that. I’m your sister, Wynonna. You should be able to tell me anything without worrying about how I’d react.”  __

That felt like a jab through Wynonna’s heart. All her life she kept things from Waverly’ from her baby sister. It’s what she’s had to do to keep her safe and sane. She knew Waverly hated her for it and she couldn’t blame her. But there was nothing that could convince Wynonna to share the burden of everything she knew. 

“Waves, I wasn’t your sister for many years, not in the way I should have been. I’m used to being a lone wolf. It’ll take a while for me to open up.” She looked up and wiped some of Waverly’s tears away. 

Waverly nodded, a little startled by Wynonna’s gentleness. “Okay, but I just want you to know I’m here for you. You can tell me anything.” 

“I know, baby girl.” She pulled her younger sister into a hug and tried her hardest not to cry. She had missed this so much. Not the crying, but her sister’s comforting embrace and warmth when all Wynonna felt like she deserved was a cold shoulder. 

._._.

_ “Shit.”  _

_ Waverly opened the door. Wynonna thought she had locked it. Ten-year-old Waverly was gaping at her slightly, astounded by the sight of Wynonna Earp, age fifteen, curled up in the bathtub, crying.  _

_ “‘Nonna? Are you okay?”  _

_ Wynonna tried to breathe. That was why she had locked herself in the bathroom in the first place. She couldn’t breathe.  _

_ Waverly just slowly approached her and wrapped her arms around her, promising her sister that she’d never let go, if that’s what Wynonna wanted.  _

._._.

“You’re an angel.” 

Waverly snickered and shook her head like that was preposterous. “Don’t be silly, Wyn—” 

“You  _ are,”  _ Wynonna interrupted, a little intense so that her sister never forgot. “You always have been the best of us. And anyone who’s lucky to have you in their life should know they’re the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet. You deserve everything, Waverly Earp. Don’t you ever forget that, okay?” 

Waverly looked up at her with bright eyes that made Wynonna feel like a teenager again. She hadn’t seen Waverly look at her like this since she left. Looked at her like she was a light, too bright for the world. 

“People say what they will about Wynonna Earp, but they have no idea how soft she is.” 

“Hey!” Wynonna poked her sister in the shoulder. “Take that back.” 

The younger brunette giggled. “I’m just messin’ ‘round, Wynonna. Besides, there are a few townies left that remember the real you.” 

Wynonna raised her eyebrows. “Who?” 

“You know,” Waverly said and winked. “His name starts with a ‘D’ and ends with ‘oc’.” 

“Ugh!” Wynonna groaned and stood up. “Not you too!” 

Waverly put her hands up in surrender. “Just kidding. He totally does not still have lingering, unresolved feelings toward you. Yep.” 

Wynonna snorted. “C’mon, geek. Let’s go inside. So I can pretend to ignore everything you just said.” 


	10. the rage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// There is homophobia in this chapter and the use of the d-slur!

Waverly, Gus, and Alice were in the kitchen making something vegan (Nicole laughed when Wynonna physically cringed at that announcement) as Nicole and Wynonna sat in the living room, chatting quietly before inevitably having to set the table. They were glad to have a moment alone, a moment to share and talk about what the other one had missed. 

“So, you told my sister.” 

Nicolle groaned and facepalmed. “I know. I’m sorry. She was starting to ask personal questions and it just felt weird  _ not  _ telling her. I didn’t want to have to  _ lie,  _ you know?” 

Wynonna sighed and stretched out her legs along the couch, putting her feet on top of Nicole’s lap, causing the redhead to glare at her. Wynonna just grinned back at her, knowing that the redhead wasn’t actually angry with her. 

“You’re fine, Haught-biscuit. I should’ve told her sooner. And since you were the one who told her, you probably had the more awkward convo. Sorry ‘bout that.” 

Nicole didn’t know how to reply to that (because the truth was, her conversation with Waverly was the opposite of terrible, though it was sometimes a little awkward). “It wasn’t too bad. Your sister’s easy to talk to. If I get the job at the station, it’ll all be because of her.” 

Wynonna raised her eyebrows in surprise. “She talked to Nedley?” 

“She more than talked to Nedley. She fought for me. It kind of reminded me of you, actually.” The redhead smiled at the memory of the younger Earp’s badassery. 

The brunette snorted, impressed but also a little worried. “I hope that’s all she does that’s similar to me. Being me is a rough gig.” 

Nicole chewed her cheek, knowing that Wynonna wasn’t exaggerating. She knew how hard the brunette’s life was like. How the shit started in Purgatory, but continued after she left. How it only amplified when she was in New York. Hell, Nicole knew that they partially committed the crime to right a wrong that happened to Wynonna. She knew coming home for her was an attempt at a fresh start, even if that meant digging up parts of the past. In many ways, this was Nicole’s fresh start, too, though it didn’t always feel like it.

“I don’t know, Earp. I think everyone could use a little Wynonna Earp in them.” 

Wynonna looked at her, completely stunned like she thought that was out of the realm of possibility. “You’re serious, H—” 

She was interrupted by a telephone ring. The house phone. 

After a few tense seconds of the redhead and brunette staring at each other as they anxiously waited to hear if it was the news of Nicole’s job, they heard Gus shout, “Nicole! It’s Sheriff Nedley!” 

Nicole’s eyes widened as she bolted up from the couch and darted toward the kitchen, leaving a laughing Wynonna behind, sure that her best friend was going to get the job, even though Nicole wasn’t as certain. 

Gus passed her the phone and the redhead quickly answered, “it’s Nicole Haught on the phone.” 

“Ms. Haught, or should I say  _ Officer  _ Haught, seems like your old bosses in the NYPD thought you were a pretty fine cop, though they didn’t know why you up and left so quickly. If you want the job, it’s yours.” 

Relief poured out of Nicole with an exaggerated exhale. “Oh, thank you, Sir. I really appreciate—” 

“I want you here at 8:00 am tomorrow so you can get adjusted. Have a nice evening, Officer Haught.” 

“You have a—” she stopped, realizing that he had already hung up on her. The rudeness would have bothered her if not for the fact that she now had a job. In that moment, she finally felt like she was starting over. Like she didn’t have to be tied down to her past in New York any longer. Tied down to all the neverending shit that happened in New York. She hoped it was the beginning of forgetting.

“What’s the verdict, Haught-shot?” Wynonna asked her suddenly, pulling her out of her daydream. Wynonna was leaning on the doorframe, smirking as if she already knew the answer. 

“You’re looking at Purgatory’s newest officer of the law.” 

Wynonna just winked at her as both Alice and Waverly audibly cheered, the five-year-old running over to her so that she could give her a hug. 

“I’m so proud of you, Nic!” 

“Thanks, Monkey.” Nicole kissed her best friend’s daughter’s forehead, feeling the warmth of being unconditionally loved by a child.

Nicole then looked up at Waverly, who had the brightest eyes Nicole thought she had ever seen. She smiled at her, hoping that the brunette knew how thankful she was for all her help. 

Gus got out the alcohol, her way of saying congratulations, which was still truly more than what Nicole had expected from the woman. She still didn’t really get the vibe that she was welcome in her house, but then again, she was starting to really seriously get the vibe that Wynonna wasn’t quite welcome, either. 

Nicole watched as Wynonna looked at the glass of alcohol, eyeing it carefully, like she was trying to smother her own urges to drink it. When Nicole first met her, she was drinking way more than Wynonna, but she knew how hard it was for the brunette to stop. 

._._.

_ “Addiction runs in my blood. Hell, in my family, the alcohol runs thicker than blood.”  _

_ Nicole heard about families like that, had seen enough of the damage in her line of work. “Your parents?”  _

_ Wynonna shook her head, annoyed that the woman was trying to dig deeper into her life when the redhead never gave a shit before. “My parents? More like my parents, my grandparents, my great-grandparents, me.”  _

_ Nicole raised an eyebrow. “You? I’ve never seen you have more than one beer or drink.”  _

_ “That doesn’t mean I don’t  _ want  _ more than one drink.” Wynonna let out an uncomfortable and cold chuckle. “I don’t drink the way I want to because I’m a mother. I put mother before addiction, though it hasn’t been easy.”  _

_ The redhead hummed, surprised by her (she was always finding herself to be surprised by the woman these days). “That’s huge, though. Not all addicts could put their kids first.”  _

_ “Oh, I know. My parents didn’t.”  _

._._.

“If you don’t mind, Gus, I’ll have some water to celebrate.” Nicole ignored the strange looks from her older woman as she poured water into two glasses, one for herself and one for Wynonna, who gratefully took the cup and smiled softly, obviously glad that she didn’t have to tell her aunt that she wasn’t going to drink. 

Wynonna raised the glass. “To Nicole Haught: may teens hate you, criminals fear you, and grandmas love you.” 

Nicole rolled her eyes, but laughed knowing how big of a deal it was that the brunette was being so okay with her being a cop again, despite how much she hated cops—still hated cops. Nicole had repeatedly promised her that if Nedley was pulling bad shit that she’d get out and find a different job. That was an easy promise for her to make these days. She had no desire or inclination to be a corrupt or biased cop. She just wanted to do good. Save lives. 

“To Nicole,” Waverly stated suddenly, her face all red when Nicole turned to look at her, “the savior of cats stuck in trees.” 

Nicole grinned at her (though hoping the grin wasn’t flirtatious). “Isn’t that a firefighter’s job?” 

Waverly chuckled like that was preposterous. “Tell that to Purgatory’s Firefighters.” 

Nicole was about to ask her about what their deal was when there was a knock on the front door and before she knew it, Waverly’s jerk of a boyfriend, Champ Hardy, started swaggering into the house. Nicole’s least favorite person in all of Purgatory. (For a second, she asked herself if she hated him because of Waverly, but she reassured herself that she hated him for plenty more reasons that just being Waverly’s asshole of a boyfriend.)

“Champ…” Waverly greeted (with the opposite of elated tone) and approached him, looking more embarrassed and annoyed than anything. “What are you doing here?” 

“Uh,” he pulled out his phone from his pocket, “I texted you like four times. I thought we had a date at Shorty’s.” 

“Oh, shoot! I’m so sorry, I’ve been so busy all day and I haven’t checked my gosh darn phone. I’m so sorry.” 

Champ shrugged like he didn’t give a shit when it was obvious that he was here to prove a point. “It’s fine. We can still hang out here. Are y’all celebratin’ or somethin’?” 

Nicole clenched her fists. Champ didn’t even ask if he could stay, he just put Waverly on the spot and inserted himself into their nice little party.  _ And,  _ he was looking Waverly up and down like she was a piece of meat. It all made her feel so nauseous. She knew that Waverly deserved better than a shit-ticket like him. 

“Nicole, here, is going to officially be Purgatory’s newest officer,” Waverly announced to him, looking less than pleased as he grabbed a glass of whiskey without asking and sat down at the table before anyone else. 

“No way! You?” He stared at Nicole for a second before returning his attention back to Waverly. “I had wondered if he had to give the job to a lady. I asked him about the job months ago.” 

Okay, that made Nicole feel a bit better. She forced a smile and said, “maybe it’s because I worked for the NYPD for many years and I’m extremely qualified.” 

He snorted and shook his head slightly as if she had said something completely crazy. “Yeah, maybe.” 

Nicole noticed as the tension filled the room and conversation was replaced with uncomfortable silence that Alice scooted close to Wynonna. The brunette found Nicole’s eyes as if she tried to have a wordless conversation with her about Champ, but she wasn’t understanding what she was trying to say. Gus returned her attention back to cooking the vegan meal along with Waverly, leaving Champ to just watch his girlfriend with a stupid look on his face. 

Suddenly, Champ inhaled deeply and turned to Wynonna, looking like he had a mission. “So, are you, like, a full-on dyke now?” 

Nicole felt all the air knock out of her lungs. In recent years she tried to reclaim the word for herself after years of it terrorizing her, but this,  _ this  _ hurt. This was coming out of the mouth of a man-child that probably hated women and the LGBTQIA+ community. This was a purposeful threat and attack against Wynonna. 

But with Wynonna, Nicole could see the anger surge through her as she tried to restrain herself (probably for the sake of her daughter, whose eyes were huge and terrified). Alice probably didn’t know the meaning of the word, but Nicole was sure she could sense how the mood in the room changed. How her mother shifted in front of her little girl, to protect her. 

Nicole didn’t know how, but somehow, Waverly looked completely gaunt. Like someone had stolen the light from her eyes. She looked stunned (like she had no idea he was capable of saying anything like that) and empty. Nicole was afraid that Waverly was going to break down. 

Wynonna stood up, pulling Nicole out of her attention on the younger Earp, and copied her movements, ready to back her up if she decked him. She almost expected her to. She wouldn’t have blamed her if she did. But instead, the brunette turned to her daughter, very in control, and told her to go to her room.

Alice tilted her head, but after the serious look her mother gave her, followed her orders, leaving the room as fast as she could. Gus, surprising Nicole, followed the five-year-old. The redhead suspected that she was making sure the young girl was actually going to her room and not lingering around to hear what was about to happen. 

Champ stood up and put his hands up in the air like he was innocent. “Hey, now. I meant no offense to you or your people. I just thought—”

“You thought what?” Wynonna asked, sharply interrupting him. “That you’d try to assert your male dominance with blatant homophobia? Or maybe you’re worried, right, because I fucked you when we were younger at a party when I was too drunk to say yes or no. Are you afraid you slept with a lesbian or are you afraid you were a little rapey? I’m going to go with the former.” 

Champ’s face turned absolutely red with rage and Nicole was ready to grab him if he pounced at her best friend. Waverly, who was slightly behind her, almost lunged at him, but Nicole held her back. She knew the next person who touched him would get hit. 

“You’re still a raging crazy bitch, Wynonna Earp.” 

The brunette didn’t break eye contact with him. “And you’re still a piece of trash with a small dick.” 

Champ smashed his glass onto the floor and almost jumped at Wynonna, but Waverly shouted, “Champ, no!” 

He stopped, fuming, and turned to his girlfriend. “Are you gonna let your sister talk to me like that?” 

Tears started to stream down the young brunette’s face. “Just go, Champ! Get out of here! I don’t want to see you ever again!” 

“Fuck you, Waverly! You’re just like your fucking sister!” 

Champ left the house, slamming the door behind him, leaving the three women alone in sickening silence. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, this hurt. SO MUCH. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


	11. the aftermath and healing

There was no doubt in Wynonna’s mind that back when she was a teenager, Purgatory was a homophobic town. There were a few people out of the closet, but that was mostly because they were outed. The only mention of gay people Wynonna heard about came from her father, who would spew hate about every kind of person (other than a white cishet male) when he had enough drink in him. Wynonna knew, then, that he was wrong. She knew if he was saying it, it had to be wrong. 

And when she kissed a girl when she was sixteen, she liked it. She liked kissing boys too, or anyone else for that matter. It didn’t take much time at all for people to find out that she was banging anyone who wanted her. But she was an outcast already, so being outed didn’t really change things too much for her except for adding another adjective to her name. 

Besides, the people who mattered, Doc and Dolls, they didn’t care. She was afraid they would, but they didn’t. 

She got called plenty of terrible things in New York, too, but almost rarely in front of her daughter. That was what enraged her the most. That and the fact that Waverly was dating the bastard. 

Waverly looked horrified as she covered her mouth, with what Wynonna guessed as complete shock. She finally turned from the space Champ was in to look at her older sister and began to sob. 

“Wynonna, I’m so sorry! I d-didn’t—didn’t know—” 

“How could you know?” Wynonna asked almost angrily, wanting to tell her sister everything was alright to comfort her, but the truth was, Wynonna felt like punching through a wall, so mad that her sister was with that piece of trash for years. “A lot of people don’t show their homophobia until they’re around someone who is actually LGBTQ.” 

“Waverly?” Wynonna snapped her head toward the source of the voice. It was Nicole (Wynonna had almost forgotten that the redhead was there). 

“Yes?” 

Nicole licked her lips nervously and asked, “has he been this violent with you before?” 

Wynonna almost collapsed right there. She hadn’t even thought of that. She watched in fear as somehow even more tears flooded Waverly’s eyes. 

“He’s never hit me,” Waverly explained, stuttering through her words between sobs. “He’s gotten angry, but usually I can calm him down. I promise.” 

“Babygirl,” Wynonna interrupted, unable to stop the words from coming out of her mouth. “I don’t want him near my daughter ever again.” 

Waverly nodded rapidly. “Wynonna—” 

“I’m going to make sure Alice is doing okay.” Wynonna watched as Waverly’s heart broke, but she turned around anyway. She came here so Alice could be safe with her family. It didn’t seem safe right now. 

Like a zombie, she walked toward Willa’s old room, Alice’s room now. The door was thankfully closed, and when she opened it, Alice was tucked in bed with Gus, who was reading her a story. 

“Mamma?” Alice looked up at her with a worried look and all Wynonna wanted to do was hold her and promise her everything was fine. 

“Hi, babes.” Wynonna entered the room and sat down on the bed, still a little torn about how to continue, how to make things right. “That man’s gone, okay? Your auntie made sure that he left.” 

Alice bit her lip and sat up so that she could hug her mom who was trying her hardest not to break in front of her. “I’m sorry he was so mean.” 

“Oh, babygirl,” Wynonna kissed her daughter’s forehead. “Me too. What he said… it was very hateful. You see—” Gus interrupted her with a cough and questioning glare, as if she didn’t think Alice should know what really happened. Wynonna ignored her. “You see, that mean man was trying to offend me and Nicole with his hatred because we aren't straight. You remember how I told you that Nicole was married to a woman and how I can be attracted to anyone?” 

Alice nodded. “Yes, Mama, but why would he hate that?” 

Wynonna sighed and hugged her daughter a little closer. “I’m not sure, baby. There will always be people full of hate, but there are also a lot of people in this world full of respect and love, okay? That man, he’s worthless. Don’t spend your time or energy worrying about him or what he thinks, okay?”

Alice nodded and asked about what was happening with dinner, obviously reassured that everything was fine. It gave Wynonna a chance to breathe. She was glad that Alice wasn’t terrified. 

Before Wynonna could answer her question, Gus jumped in. “We can have dinner after I talk to your mom for a second. You stay right here and we’ll come to get you in a minute.” 

Wynonna didn't know where this was going (though she feared the worst), but kissed her daughter’s forehead again and promised that she’d be back soon. She followed her aunt to the bathroom, which was never a good sign. 

“Wynonna…” Gus began slowly, making her more nervous by the second. “I’m sorry you had to endure that, darlin’. I know you had your fair share of it when you were a teen and I never said anythin’. I should’ve said somethin’. Seein’ you talk to Alice made me a little ashamed that I didn’t do better.” 

The young mother gaped at her slightly. An apology from Gus Gibson was about the last thing she would have guessed. An apology and admission that maybe things were tough on her. It seemed almost like a fever dream. 

“It’s fine,” she muttered with a shrug, even though the hurt still lingered despite trying to brush it off. “Curtis tried, so… it’s fine. I’m more sorry for Waverly if anything.” 

“Me too, but this was the right wake up call she needed. She never loved that stupid boy. Don’t know why she kept trying so hard to. Anyway, I shouldn’t have said what I said before. Seein’ you at the bar reminded me of your mother and I think I told you what I would’ve wanted to tell her. I’m happy to watch Alice anytime.” 

Wynonna chewed her cheek, not realizing before now that Gus was also pretty hurt by her mother’s disappearance. “It’s fine, Gus, honestly. Besides, I have enough to apologize for. Starting with letting you keep believing that me and Nicole are together. Really, she’s just my best friend.” 

Gus raised her eyebrows. “Oh. And here I thought I was makin’ you two uncomfortable enough for you to hide your romance.” 

“Yeah… sorry.” 

“Don’t worry about it, Wynonna. Out of all the things you could do, that’s not very terrible. But how’d you convince that poor girl to come to Purgatory with you?” 

Wynonna rubbed her lips together anxiously and confessed (while still leaving out so much), “truth is, it was rough for me in New York and it was just as rough for Nicole. And ever since I had Alice, I had Waverly on my mind all the time. We came here for a change, for calmness. For Family. Nicole… she doesn’t really have any.” 

Gus frowned. “I’m sorry to hear that.” 

“But if you want us to move out, we’ll totally—” 

“Unnecessary, Wynonna. I can tell that you’ve grown a lot. And you’re a good mother and tryin’ to be a good sister. That’s all I could ask of you.” 

Wynonna was shocked. Gus was being so unusually kind. She and Gus were always enemies when she was younger. It was strange—a good kind of strange—for the woman to trust her. 

“Now, let’s go get some dinner made and make sure your sister’s okay. Yeah?” 

She smiled warmly at her aunt and nodded. “Sounds good.” 

* * *

Nicole had seen a lot of shock as a police officer and knew right away that was what Waverly was going through. She was also fairly certain that Wynonna leaving right away probably scared her even more. She knew Waverly well enough to expect she was more worried about Wynonna and Alice than what just happened between herself and her boyfriend. 

“She’s going to be fine,” Nicole tried to reassure her, who wanted more than anything to take her pain away. “Wynonna’s tough and she’s heard a lot worse. She’s just worried about Alice. That’s all.” 

“I hate that Alice heard that,” Waverly cried out and sat back down at the table. “I hate that he s-said what he said and I hate that I let him stay before he said it. I hate that I  _ dated  _ him. For years!” 

Nicole sat down and reached over to gently touch her hand. “Hey. Out of experience, as Wynonna said, sometimes it’s hard to know if a person is homophobic until they interact with a queer person. My parents are liberals and they still pray I’ll marry a man even though I know that could never happen. People are shitty and sometimes their shittiness doesn’t come out until you spend many years around them.” 

Waverly looked up, her face and eyes completely red. “That’s the thing. He—I always knew he was kind of a jerk. But he was rarely mean to me on purpose and I—I just got complacent. I feel so… I can’t believe I dated him for so long.” 

“Why did you?” Nicole asked her, curious but also fully aware that talking it out could help her. “Why did you stay with him for so long?”

Waverly shrugged and pulled at the sleeves of her sweater. “I don’t know. I guess I… I just accepted it because eventually, I guess, I thought it was what I deserved.” 

That broke Nicole’s heart. “Waverly, I know you might not believe me right now, but you deserve so much more than Champ Hardy.” 

She sighed and shook her head. “I always had to work so much harder for people to perceive me as someone different than the rest of my family. I wanted people to think I was good, normal. And Champ—he’s normal. I thought, maybe he could make me feel—make me look—more normal.” 

Growing up as a closeted teen, Nicole understood that in a way she couldn’t explain. “I don’t know what it was like for you growing up. From what your sister told me, it was probably hell. I know what it’s like to want to cater yourself to others, but Waverly Earp, you are so special. Everyone knows that.” 

A small smile formed from Waverly’s lips. “Thank you, Nicole. It’s crazy. I’ve only known you for a few days and it feels like… you almost understand me better than anyone.”

“I know what you mean,” Nicole agreed, trying to not get emotional over it. It was always hard for her to make connections with people, but with Waverly, it was always just so simple. 

She was about to say something else when the rest of the family returned, none of them looking particularly angry, which relieved Nicole. She knew how much heavy shit Waverly was dealing with. She was afraid that it would worsen if she thought anyone blamed her. 

“Waves,” Wynonna stated as her younger sister inhaled, preparing herself for the worst. “Please tell me this vegan crap will have flavor. Because if not, I’m ordering a pizza.” 

Waverly exhaled, and truthfully, so did Nicole. Wynonna was pretending like everything was normal. She was always good at that skill when Nicole wasn’t. And luckily, everyone decided to play along. 

“It has flavor, ‘Nonna. Promise.” 

Wynonna harrumphed as if she didn’t believe her and inspected what Waverly called her ‘vegan alfredo’. “The first time Haught and I ate out together was at this vegan place she picked. Let’s just say after that, I picked the restaurant.” 

._._.

_ “You think this is lowkey?” Wynonna asked as she followed the redhead into the hipster joint bustling with young people posting pictures of their food on Instagram. “You’re a fucking cop, you should know what lowkey means.”  _

_ “It’s the only kinda food my wife likes right now,” Nicole said with a shrug. “First place I thought of.”  _

_ Wynonna didn’t want to delve any deeper. She didn’t like the cop, but she wasn’t about to say anything about the wife. The cop already looked pale and exhausted; she didn’t want to add to any of that shit.  _

_ “Right. Tell me what’s good here.”  _

_ Haught just shrugged. “It’s all cardboard with sauce.”  _

_ “You suck,” Wynonna muttered as they moved in the line to order. “I can’t believe I’m willing to work with you.”  _

_ “I didn’t really give you a choice, did I?”  _

._._.

“Which is when you introduced Nicole to a life of cheap hot wings,” Waverly snickered. “She told me. Just like I told her I want to add a few years to your life. So eat my food.” 

Wynonna sat down at the table. “Yes, Ma’am.” 

“Besides,” Waverly commented as she started to dish out the pasta onto plates. “It’s always good to teach kids at a young age about healthy food and healthy habits.” 

Nicole started to pass the plates around and said, “you’ve got a good point, Waverly.” 

“Do not take her side. You’re  _ my  _ friend, okay? You take  _ my  _ side.” 

Nicole looked up and smirked at her best friend. “Even when I know you’re completely wrong?” 

“Especially then!” 

“Mama, you and Nic argue all the time.” Alice pointed out and then slurped a noodle. “Yum!” 

“It’s different if we argue just the two of us!” Wynonna joked and stared at a noodle she had on her fork. “Waves, is this noodle even real?” 

“Oh my god, you’re a menace, Wynonna! Yes, it’s real. It’s only a recipe I’ve been perfecting over the years.” 

Gus nodded in support. “It tasted like snot at first, but trust me, Wynonna, it’s edible now.” 

“It’s delicious,” Nicole emphasized as she ate some of the food. “You’re being a baby, Wynonna.” 

Wynonna sighed and said, “I was only trying to joke around.” She stuffed a noodle into her mouth and swallowed. “Not half bad, babygirl.” 

“I told her when she said she wanted to be vegan at fifteen that it was fine if she cooked all her meals,” Gus told them as she continued to eat. “And she did. Curtis was proud.” 

Wynonna shared a solemn look with her sister. She missed Curtis and wished she could have been there for the funeral. Even if he couldn’t save her from herself, that man always tried harder than any other adult. Even with Wynonna pushing him away as far as she could. 

“Wynonna always talked about her Uncle Curtis as being a great man,” Nicole said suddenly, surprising almost everyone. “Can you tell me what he was like?” 

Gus softened and smiled (Wynonna was sure this would win the woman over). “Oh, he was the most stubborn and kind man in this town. Now in Purgatory, that combination was rare. But that man didn’t have a mean bone in his entire body. Which made everyone wonder why we fell for each other. We’re very different, Curtis and I, but christ almighty, he made my cold heart race.” 

The women smiled, happy to finally reach a topic everyone could agree upon. For the rest of the night, they all swapped stories about him. Laughing, crying, and mostly a mix of both. Nicole and Alice listened to every word, mesmerized by how very close the family seemed to be that night. 

There was no mention of Champ or the feelings that were hurt. There were no mentions of Wynonna leaving. They were all happy memories, ones Wynonna tended to forget when the bad ones just seemed too overwhelming. 

They talked late into the night, even after Alice fell asleep. It was when Waverly fell asleep, however, when they all decided to head off and return to the conversation at a later date. 

* * *

Wynonna felt more exhausted than she had in weeks. Drama always had that effect on her. She was just glad that the family was able to move through it and come out stronger in the end. She didn’t think that would have happened when she was a teen. 

“I know we had a good night, Earp,” Nicole sighed as she got into Wynonna’s bed with her, “but I’m still sorry about what happened. Made me feel like I was fucking fifteen again. What an asshole.” 

“I guess it was false hope that this town had gotten better, gotten more progressive.” Wynonna turned to her side in the bed, toward Nicole. “I’m sorry you had to hear that.” 

Haught snorted. “Please. We’ve both heard worse. I think this was hardest on Waverly, though I’m glad she realizes the kind of jerk he really is.” 

Wynonna hummed in agreement. “Here’s to hoping he’s one of the only ones like that here.” 

“Homophobia is everywhere,” Nicole muttered and stared intensely at her best friend to try to make her point. “We just have to surround ourselves with the right people and keep teaching Alice what’s wrong with the world.” 

Wynonna closed her eyes and tried to ingest her words. “I know. You’re right. It just fucking sucks.” 

“I know, but it’s going to be alright. We’re going to be okay.” 

“You think?” 

“I do.” 

Wynonna smiled at her best friend and leaned over so that she could turn off the lights.

* * *

Nicole wasn’t surprised to find Waverly back in the living room early in the morning. The brunette smiled up at her wordlessly as she joined her with her new book,  _ Brave New World.  _ Waverly looked at the book title and wrinkled her nose in disgust. 

“You don’t like it?” Nicole asked, grinning. 

“Not really,” Waverly admitted with a soft chuckle. “Made me super uncomfortable when I read it.” 

“When did you read it?” 

Waverly tapped her chin and answered, “I think I was fourteen.” 

“Wow,” Nicole said, a little impressed. “I think I would have been uncomfortable, too. Can I ask why you read it when you were so young?” 

Waverly shrugged a little sadly and confessed, “after Wynonna left, I read a lot. Every book we had in the house. It kept me company.” 

Nicole nodded, understanding right away. “I get that. I was a fairly lonely kid growing up, never fitting in, and I read a lot too. I liked getting sucked into a world where I didn’t have to be myself for a few hours.” 

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that,” Waverly told her genuinely. 

“I’m sorry for you, too.” 

Waverly smiled softly at her. “If only you could’ve been here and we could’ve been friends. We could have beaten the loneliness.” 

Nicole’s heart grew (and so did her admiration for the woman). “Maybe you can still help me beat it now.” 

Waverly nodded like she knew just what she meant. “Only if you help me right back.” 

The redhead grinned at her. “You got yourself a deal. So, what’re you drawing?” 

Waverly showed her the pad of paper. It was a drawing of Nicole, Wynonna, and Alice. They looked like a  _ real  _ family. Tears bubbled up in Nicole’s eyes. She never thought she would have this. Not after her wife died. 

“You should show this to Wynonna when you’re done,” Nicole suggested sweetly to the brunette. “She’d love this. You’re so talented.” 

Waverly blushed and shook her head slightly. “Oh, it’s nothing. It’s not very good—”

“No, it is,” Nicole interrupted her passionately. “I’m serious, Waverly. You’re  _ so  _ talented.” 

Waverly smiled at her, a little embarrassed, and Nicole wished she could shake whoever made the brunette feel like she was talentless and average. Nicole turned back to her page in the book, but her eyes were glued to Waverly and watched as she performed her magic on paper until the sun came up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please comment and let me know what you think! :D


	12. adjusting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole starts her new job. 
> 
> Wynonna registers Alice at school. 
> 
> Wynonna meets someone.

Nicole wished she could go with Wynonna to Purgatory’s elementary school to register Alice up for school, but the last thing she (or her best friend) wanted was for her to be late for her first day of work. She was beyond nervous (even though in many ways she was overqualified for the job she had) but felt better after her morning with Waverly. The younger brunette even offered to drive her to work, but Wynonna said she’d drop her off instead. 

Everyone was fairly supportive, which was the exact opposite of what happened when she told her actual parents she was joining the police academy. It made her feel warm in all the ways she hadn’t felt when she was younger. Even Gus gave her a pat on the back and told her to ‘knock ‘em dead’, though she thought that wasn’t the best phrase as a cop. 

“She likes you, Haught,” Wynonna said as she drove Curtis’ beaten up truck. “I knew Gus would eventually warm up to you. Actually, it happened faster than I thought.” 

“I wouldn’t say she likes me, I think she tolerates me, which is good enough. Alice, are you ready to go back to school soon?” She turned her attention back to the five-year-old, wanting to get her mind off of other things. 

“I guess,” Alice answered a little sadly. “I don’t know anyone.” 

“Well,” Wynonna said, ready with the reassuring words of wisdom that she had been working on since she woke up in the morning. “The good thing is the school is much smaller than what you’re used to. More opportunity to make closer friends and get to know your teachers.” 

Wynonna was trying hard, but Alice was grimacing. As bright as the girl was, making friends had been difficult. She was used to bouncing from school to school (preschool to preschool, mostly) never really getting the chance to really connect with anyone. 

“I know school isn’t always fun, babes, believe me. But this is different, okay? This is permanent.” 

Alice nodded, a little less solemn than before. “Can I hang out with you after school during the week?” 

“Uh—” Wynonna shared a look of anxiety with Nicole, who knew Wynonna hadn’t quite checked with Doc to make sure that was alright. “We’ll try to make that happen, babygirl. And here we are, Officer Haught. You’re going to do great. And if you do, no great shakes.” 

Nicole shared a smile with her best friend before she took a deep breath. She was really going to do this. It was crazy, but she just hoped it was the good kind of crazy. The kind of crazy that would make her excited to wake up in the morning. 

“See you two tonight.” She blew Alice a kiss before getting out of the truck and headed for the front door. 

When Nicole entered the building, the guy who was reading romance novels previously looked up and waved at her, grinning. She let out an anxious breath. She might not like overly friendly dudes, but he was way better than a dick like Champ. 

“Officer Haught,” Nedley shouted from his office, motioning her to come to him. She entered his office and he grunted, “here’s your uniform. Squad car’s parked outside, here are the keys.” He tossed them to her and she caught them. “Good. Now, I want you to start familiarizin’ yourself with the troublemakers in this town. Lonnie’s got all the boxes together and put them in your cubicle. Should take you all day to read. If you have questions, ask Lonnie first. I don’t want to be bothered with questions he could have just answered for you. Dismissed.” 

Nicole blinked and nodded. This, she was used to. She rarely ever communicated with the captain of her old precinct, but her lieutenant was tough as nails. She grabbed her uniform and headed to the only other cubicle, the one with boxes everywhere. She definitely thought it would take longer than a day to read it all. 

“Hi,” Lonnie greeted with an awkward smile. “Everyone calls me Lonnie ‘round here. You’re Nicole Haught.” 

She tried her hardest to smile politely. “Yep.” 

“From New York, huh? The Big Apple’s probably very different than here, ain’t that right? Well, don’t you worry a thing, Nicole. I’ll make sure you adjust quickly.” 

He was being nice. She kept trying to remind herself of that fact. He was just a guy trying to be nice. (She was so not used to that.) 

“Thanks, Lonnie. I appreciate it.” 

“No problem. I’ll be right next door if you need me! Just holler!” 

She tried to chuckle. “I will!” 

Nicole was glad that he didn’t sense any of her apprehension. He went back to his desk and Nicole settled in hers, wondering when she was inevitably going to stumble across a file with Wynonna’s name (or last name) on it.

* * *

Wynonna put her brave face on. She hated interacting with people who’d judge her as a parent. That didn’t happen much in New York with all the schools that Alice went to, but she was sure it would happen here now that all kids _ and  _ parents were watched like hawks. She figured this school would expect her to join the parental community like her parents were expected to. Wynonna remembered being judged for her parents’ lack of involvement. 

“Hi, there! How can I help you?” The woman at the front desk asked (a little too chipper for Wynonna’s taste, but luckily not a grouch). 

“Hi,” Wynonna said a little stiffly, trying hard to not fuck this up. “Is there when I can enroll my child into this school?” 

“Yes, of course!” 

Wynonna sighed a breath of relief and remained in control as she listened to the woman ask her questions as she passed her the necessary documentation the school needed. Wynonna’s hand was holding Alice’s the entire time, never letting go. She suspected they both needed each other. 

“Okay, Ms. Earp, you’re all set. Since the kindergarten kids are at recess right now, would you like to meet Alice’s teacher?” 

Wynonna really didn’t since she had to get into work as soon as possible, but she didn’t quite feel like she could say no. So she nodded politely and followed the woman to an almost empty classroom and Wynonna half expected to recognize the teacher (the kindergarten teacher that terrorized her as a child), but didn’t. She knew immediately that if she had met this woman before, she’d  _ definitely  _ remember. 

“Ms. Bustillos, this is Ms. Earp and her daughter, Alice. She’ll be joining your class,” the woman introduced and then left, leaving Wynonna almost completely alone with a gorgeous woman. 

The gorgeous woman around Wynonna’s age smiled brightly and got up from her desk. Wynonna had to reign herself in and keep herself together. This woman was definitely her type. Except for the whole ‘teacher’ thing, though she was sure that was a fantasy she definitely could be into.

“Nice to meet you!” The teacher greeted and shook Wynonna’s hand. She crouched down to meet Alice and shake her hand as well. “Hi, Alice. It’s very nice to meet you!” 

Wynonna could tell that Alice was slightly startled as she whispered back to the woman, “you too.”

The teacher smiled and stood up. “Lucky for you, we have an empty cubby and chair just for you! It’s like I knew you were coming! Almost like fate, huh? Want to check out the classroom while I talk to your mom?” 

Alice nodded and moved around the room, almost immediately gravitating toward the books. Ms. Bustillos seemed to smile at that. 

“Avid reader?” 

“Definitely,” Wynonna said, a little nervous about making a good first impression. “I’m worried it’s made her a little shy.” 

“Don’t be worried about that,” Ms. Bustillos said simply with a shrug. “Shy kids are good kids. Thoughtful kids. So, you new to the area?” 

Wynonna shook her head. “Not really. I was born and raised here and just moved back to be with family. We were living in New York.” 

“Ah, I thought I noticed a slight accent. I visited once after I got my Ph.D. from MIT. Didn’t really enjoy it to tell you the truth.” 

Wynonna snorted, feeling a little more confident to be herself around her after the woman admitted that. “No one really does. Well, if you live there, that is. And woah, a Ph.D.? And you’re… not that it’s a bad thing and shit, I mean, wow, I really need to stop talking.” 

The woman just smiled at her, looking entertained rather than annoyed (startling Wynonna in a good way). “Don’t worry about it. Most people have your reaction. It’s cool, really. No, I was planning on going into academia until I realized I completely hated it. There is so much more politics into getting tenure and all that than you would think. Teaching,  _ that’s  _ what I love. And I know how much teachers can impact kids at a young age. I moved here about a year ago. Had to get out of the US with the Cheeto being in office. And well, the rent’s pretty cheap here.” 

“I feel you,” Wynonna agreed with a light chuckle, incapable of not smiling around the woman. “Well, from one New York hater to another, can I ask you something?” 

The teacher raised a curious eyebrow. “Shoot.” 

Wynonna took a deep breath, hoping that being honest with the woman wouldn’t ruin everything. “Eventually, you’re going to hear a lot of rumors about me. I won’t promise you they’re all not true, I just ask you to treat my daughter like you’ve never heard them.” 

Ms. Bustillos stared at her for a second with a look Wynonna didn’t even recognize. “All I care about is your devotion to your child, which it’s obvious you have. As for the rumors, I’ll try my damn hardest not to listen. I don’t care for gossip.” 

Wynonna breathed another sigh of relief and truly smiled at the woman. “Yeah, you’re definitely not a Purgatorian, Ms. Bustillos.” 

The woman laughed, a sound that Wynonna wouldn’t mind hearing over and over again. “You can call me Rosita. And thank you. I’m taking that as a compliment.” 

“It definitely is a compliment. And I’m Wynonna, by the way.” 

Rosita grinned. “It’s really nice to meet you, Wynonna.” 

“Ditto.” 

Wynonna just continued to smile at her, a little shocked that she was actually making a friend, even if it was a  _ tad  _ flirty. She said a quick goodbye to the hot teacher before leading Alice out of the school, smoking hot Rosita Bustillos burned into her memory.

* * *

The top box was full of the major crimes that went on in Purgatory. Mostly filled with murders, attempted murders, kidnappings, armed robbery, and assault. Most of the cases were solved and had perpetrators in prison. Nicole didn’t know why she had a list of cases that were already closed, but she just continued to read until she reached the Earp file, which was the largest in the box. She considered putting it aside and ignoring it. She knew Wynonna had a tragic past—a bad past. She didn’t feel right digging into it. But then again, Nicole didn’t want to be questioned about the case without having a clue what was in it. She needed to know what the police had on the family if she was going to protect them. 

She opened the file. It started with some of the older Earps with only a few mentions of being drunk and disorderly. The first big case was on Michelle Gibson Earp.  _ Missing.  _ There was a picture of the woman and her three young girls. Nicole’s heart ached. Wynonna didn’t talk about her mom often, but when she did, Nicole could hear the sadness drowned in her voice. Nedley wrote the missing person’s report, but there were scribbles and corrections all over the pages, presumably made by her husband, Officer Ward Earp. Apparently, while Ward and his children were gone for the day, Michelle packed up her things and left. Wynonna was ten. Waverly was five. 

She turned to the next page, another missing person's report. This time, completely in Ward’s handwriting. Willa Earp, Ward stated, abandoned her family and was a hippie runaway, just like her mother. He didn’t seem to be worried about her whereabouts either. Wynonna was twelve. Waverly was seven. 

She turned to the next page. Unexplained death of Ward Earp just one month after the disappearance of his daughter. It was an unclear suicide or homicide or accident. Some suspected he couldn’t deal with the loss of his wife and daughter and ended his own life. Others suspected the local gang (The Revenants) was involved. Others, Nedley in particular, Nicole noticed, suspected it was the man’s twelve-year-old daughter who killed him. Wynonna Earp. There was no reason, just her name listed as a suspect. 

Nicole swallowed the bile that rose up her throat. Wynonna once told her that she was accused of murder, so this wasn’t exactly news to her, but it was different reading it in a police report. She never felt the need to ask Wynonna if she had killed him, and truthfully, she didn’t want to know. This just solidified her desire to not know. 

Wynonna herself had a long list of petty crimes she was arrested for. Drug and alcohol possession, theft (of a motorcycle), shoplifting. Nicole froze when she read that Wynonna was not only placed in juvie, but was also committed to an institution for a few months. Nicole had heard about the juvie (and the foster homes she was placed in) but not the institution. Seeing a picture of an arrested fifteen-year-old Wynonna was the hardest part. She looked hollow and hardened and empty. It was obvious to her that Nedley had suspicions that she was a part of harder crimes, but was unable to prove anything. 

Nicole slapped the file onto the table and took a deep breath. Not a lot of the information was incredibly new, but it reaffirmed all the shit Wynonna had told her that she had gone through. And if anything, Nicole had more respect for Wynonna. Who she was as a person and the decision she made to leave.

* * *

Wynonna rushed into the bar breathlessly. She felt terrible that it was already noon by the time she got there with the addition of a child in her hand. She knew bringing her daughter to a bar probably wasn’t the best idea in the world and wouldn’t win her any parenting awards, but she felt like she was all out of options and there was no way she was turning to Gus for help again. 

“Doc, I am so—” 

“Don’t worry about it, darlin’,” he said before she had the chance to finish her apology. “Just glad you two are here. People won’t really start showin’ up until 4:00 anyway. Shorty’s making sandwiches in the basement if either of you are interested.” 

She smiled at him, so incredibly beyond thankful, again. “Yes, please. Thank you, we’d love that.” 

Doc headed for the basement as Wynonna sat down at the bar with Alice, who looked around at the bar with curiosity. 

“Babygirl, is it okay if you chill out here with me today? I promise we’ll find our right groove once you start school.” 

Alice nodded. “Can I play with the pool table?” 

Wynonna laughed. “Of course, babes.” 

Alice hopped off the stool as Wynonna scrambled to find cleaning products to make up for being so late. She hated cleaning, but she felt like she hadn’t done anything helpful at the bar yet. She felt like she hadn’t been useful at all. 

It was different in New York. She had to work her ass off every second of the day to pay for rent, food, and the bills. Mostly, that meant having jobs she would like to forget since she had to relive the moments in her nightmares. Back then, she also had to pay for a babysitter. Sometimes, she’d be lucky and have a neighbor who was also a struggling mother and they’d help each other out, but that was rare. And usually, she couldn’t trust her other neighbors.

She didn’t have to worry as much anymore. Even though she and Nicole hadn’t touched the money in two years, they still could fall back on it if they had to. But fuck, neither of them wanted to. It wasn’t quite out of fear for being caught, it was out of fear of losing their morals completely. 

“Wynonna,” Doc chided as he returned to them carrying a platter of sandwiches with Shorty trailing behind him, a little out of breath. “You do not need to be cleanin’ right now. Sit and eat.” 

She chewed her cheek but nodded. “C’mon, babygirl. Lunchtime.” 

Alice hopped over to them, unafraid of the men who were no longer strangers, and ate the food without any complaints. The conversation was light, easy. Mostly consisting of Shorty and Doc asking Alice questions about what she liked, especially how she was liking Purgatory. Alice’s answers were short and sweet, but no one seemed to mind. 

Wynonna was just glad none of the questions were directed at her. She did not want to talk about the past decade of her life. Not that even if they asked, she’d tell them the whole truth. Honestly, she was sure that if they knew, they’d wish they never asked in the first place. Fuck, most of the time Wynonna just wanted to forget that entire period of her life, minus all her memories with Alice. Alice was the best thing that ever happened, the only light in her life in the past decade. 

When they were done with eating, Alice pulled out the book she was still trying to read and sat at one of the few tables, her eyebrows scrunched together like she was trying very hard to concentrate. 

“You have one good kid, there, Wynonna,” Shorty stated as he patted her gently on the back. 

“I’m lucky, I know.” 

Shorty snorted. “You and I both know, Wynonna, a lot of it doesn’t have to do with luck.” He winked at her before he headed up to the apartment above, to nap, he said. 

“Nap?” Wynonna whispered to Doc when the man was out of earshot. “Since when does Shorty  _ nap?  _ Is he  _ that  _ old?” 

Doc sighed and shook his head sadly, signaling to Wynonna that there was a lot more going on behind the scenes. “Wynonna, Shorty, he’s—he’s sick.” 

“Fuck,” she cursed before she could stop herself. “How bad?” 

“Bad,” Doc whispered. “Refusing treatment. Says he wants to die on his own terms, the bastard.” 

Wynonna frowned, hating how much she understood Shorty’s decision. “I get it.” 

Doc shook his head, his head falling. “Me too. He hasn’t told anyone but me, so keep it on the down-low, will you? I probably shouldn’t have even told you.” 

Wynonna nodded, still in shock. Shorty was nowhere close to a father to her, but dammit, he loved her more than her own father did. That was one thing that she was absolutely sure of. 

“Is that why he’s been—” 

“Kind of avoidin’ you and everyone else? Yeah, I think so. I think it’s too hard on him, you know? I think you remind him of—” 

“Of my mother,” Wynonna sighed, knowing it was the brutal truth the second it fell out of her mouth. “I remind everyone of her.” 

Doc nodded in agreement. “Everyone wanted to compare you to your mama or your daddy. No one ever let you be you.” 

Wynonna inhaled, a little startled where this conversation was going. “You did. You and Dolls.” She was subtly trying to thank him for his kindness and friendship when they were younger. She just hoped he noticed.

He shrugged. “Honestly, Wynonna, me and Dolls were pretendin’ you were someone else, too. It was different, though.” 

Wynonna furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean? What did you want me to be?” 

Doc took off his hat and ran his fingers through his long hair. “We wanted you to be the answer.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please comment and tell me what you think or come chat with me on twitter @incwynsita or tumblr @haught-n-cold-gay


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